2 Months!

How Old:   2 Months!

Weight: 8 pounds

Likes:   The moby wrap, tickles on the nose, stretching, white noise, cuddles with grandparents, lights- especially the colour flashing cat on her play gym.

Dislikes:  Baths, sleep, being put down during naps (how dare I??), the car seat, injections!!

Eating:  Still breastfeeding every three hours, although we can often go longer at night. We tried formula a few times just to see if it settled her any more and Emma threw up ALL NIGHT LONG. Soy formula seems to be a bit more gentle on her stomach, but she's still quite pukey if she has it!  She's also a Tommy Tippee bottle fan (and how cute are her pink London bus bottles) and refuses anything else. 

Sleeping:  She's certainly better at night than she is during the day. At night we have to wake up two or three times for feeds. She *tends* to go back to sleep after a feed with the swaddle and white noise. I'll be honest, I thought feeding was our demon.  Nope.  Sleep is the nightmare we are struggling with at the minute.  Daytime naps?  She is not a fan unless held or in moby wrap.   Don't get me started..... I know breastfed babies wake more often, but Emma rarely seems settled enough to sleep at all - she wakes as soon as you set her down and she only tends to get 20-30 minutes before waking and needing comforting.  Any advice (or Baby Whisperers) would be appreciated.  

Routine:  Eat, play sleep- repeat - she's virtually clockwork. The toughest part of the routine is going to sleep. She tends to scream the house down when she is tired - she hasn't learnt how to drift off on her own yet. See above.

Sizes:  Hooray for 0-3 month clothes! We finally grew out of newborn, although size 2 nappies are still HUGE. She is SO long and narrow - it certainly makes clothing difficult. She seems to fit into American clothes much better than the English clothes (long and narrow). I can't wait to scope out the Carter's clothes when we get to America - I have my heart set on this spooky number.

Milestones:  Smiles!!! They are the cutest, sweetest things!!  She's also able to follow you, moving both of her eyes and her head. She's cooing - plenty of adorable sounds coming from her!

Mum's favourite moment:  We went to London to register Emma as an American citizen (how jammy is she with her two passports?) and had a family day in the big city. I feel like we hardly ever get days together but it was just perfect. Emma was with me in the moby wrap for most of the day and we walked up the Thames River Path to the Tower of London. It was just gorgeous outside - a really beautiful, family day. 

Dad's favourite moment:  The other night Emma woke up in her cradle and B got up to change her and pass her over to me for her night feed (bless him). He unswaddled her from her new swaddle (she outgrew the other ones as she's so long!) and she reached out her little arms and grabbed onto the bar of the cradle.  B tried to lift her out, but she wouldn't let go.  She was crying and clinging on for dear life!  We found it hilarious - she didn't think it was so funny.

At the Tower of London!

And what about Mum?

Weight loss:  10 pounds to go!

Clothes: I wish my shoes would fit - I'm still rocking swollen feet and hands. Maternity skinny jeans and vest tops are also my uniform, but I'm in desperate need of some new clothes.  Sure.  I'll be the typical mom in tank tops and yoga pants.  I've actually given up caring.  Everything is fashionably dotted with baby puke and I just want to be comfortable. Yoga pants are tres chic.  They are.

Stretch Marks:  Still there but actually looking less violent! I've started to use the Nivea Q10 firming lotion and oil. It's still early days, but I detect a difference. 

Belly Button:  A bit wobbly. Hey. There's no way I'm going to have stellar abs any time soon. That's ok though - there's a Baby exercise class tomorrow - we are going.  

Sleep:   5 hours a night?  Maybe?? We have been adamant that she needs to sleep in her cradle instead of the Mamaroo so we are getting shorter sessions of sleep.  Like I said - sleep is our demon right now.  

Looking forward to:  I've got my sights set on Halloween!  Even though it's utter rubbish here in in the UK, I'm campaigning for a costume get together to watch Hocus Pocus and enjoy festive snacks. Besides - it's Emma's first Halloween - I'm not missing out my first chance to dress her up!

This is what our days look like:

     
Happy Emma................................................Grumpy Emma

  
She *loves* the Moby wrap, not to mention the play gym with the super fun cat light.

And although these moments are rare, I managed to catch my two favourite people catching some Zzzzzzzzzzs.

Xx

Dear Baby

Dear Emma,

You are one month old.  To be more specific, you are 45 days old.  Or 1,080 hours old.  Or 3,888,000 seconds old.

Becoming a mum has been a learning curve.  Sure, I say I'm getting the hang of it, but I really have no idea what I'm doing.

The other day, you were crying and nothing I did would calm you down. I tried bouncing you, singing to you and playing "Country Roads" (as that oddly makes you calm down and drift off).  The only thing I could think of to do was feed you - even though you had just been fed. You quieted down and then I just sat and cried.  That was just another reminder that I have no idea what I'm doing. I thought you hated me as I just couldn't make things right for you. 

I know my horomones are all over the place, but I honestly become so overwhelmed with emotion at some points in the day. They aren't necessarily sad emotions. Just strong, heart pumping feelings.  Sometimes it's when you start feeding. Other times it's when I can't soothe you to sleep. Sometimes it's even when you are having a play with daddy and your big, beautiful eyes are shining and a little smile is playing around your tiny face. 

They say you feel this overwhelming sense of love. I had no idea what that really meant. My friend Gina sent me this gorgeous little quote from Colette's La Maison de Claudine:

"They do say that children like you, who have been carried so high in the womb and have taken so long to come down into the daylight, are always the children that are the most loved, because they have lain so near to their mother's heart and have been so unwilling to leave her." 

 Your first few hours, days and weeks were difficult.  Not just getting used to being a mum but also learning how you worked and what you wanted.  If you were unsettled or crying, I felt like it was my fault.  Babies cry. I get it. But it's still heart wrenching.  

The countless weigh ins and those admissions into hospital? When you needed that ultrasound on your hip because the doctors thought it was clicking?  The feeling of sitting in the doctors office while they snipped your tongue tie?  Good grief. The guilt I felt was unbelievable. 

But you know what feels even worse than that?  I have a bag of clothes that I'm putting together of things you've outgrown. Imagine that. You have outgrown clothes!  Nothing seemed to fit for weeks and weeks because you were so teeny tiny!  Now I'm buying bigger leggings and bigger onesies. You've even grown into the too cute headbands, which is exciting - but also kind of sad. 

The biggest thing that has gotten me through the guilt and the crying and the doctors appointments is the realisation that I'll never have these moments again. You'll never be this young again. You'll never be this little. You'll never be this new. I'm awed by what you can do - smiling and lifting your head. These are all new tricks that you couldn't do not so long ago. So while I'm finding some things really difficult, I'm treasuring those smiles at 3 AM because I know these moments are limited. 

I love you, baby girl.  Keep growing, keep smiling.

Love,

Me

Xx

29 weeks: Hello, Third Trimester!

Old Navy Maternity Dress (Similar)

How far along:  Twenty-nine Weeks!

Weight Gain:  21 Pounds (that number was a bit higher when I got back, but I blame that on American food - it quickly dropped off once I returned to jolly old England)

Maternity Clothes:  But of course!  I have started to think about hospital bag packing and that has commenced some rather horrified conversations between myself and some American mums. Things are done slightly different over here. One thing I've been thinking about is nursing tank tops and like the look of this.  I'm in love with the nursing bras I bought from Target!

Stretch Marks:  Since the appearance of those cheeky little things on my chest, I've been inspecting daily - nothing new....slight relief!

Belly Button:  Is it normal for that area of my stomach to be flat as a pancake?  B told me I'd explode unless I expand more....

Queasy or Sick:   Feeling good!   Some heartburn in the evenings, but it's nothing too unbearable.  

Sleep:  I like my sleep a bit too much at the moment. I'm still going to bed quite early and needing it.  

Best Moment of the Week:  Sunday morning with B.  We put on BBC Radio 2 (Sunday morning love songs), made scrambled eggs on bagels and fresh coffee.  Before we knew it, it had been nearly an hour since we had sat down!  We don't get time to just sit and chat with both of us being so busy.  It was a beautiful morning and the best possible way to spend it.  

Worst Moment of the Week:   LAST Sunday morning when I arrived at Heathrow airport.  I had a rather traumatic trip back from America and just burst into tears as soon as I saw B.  I was overly tired as I didn't get any sleep on the turbulent flight and my feet and ankles were swollen beyond reason as my seat had been changed and I didn't get the extra leg room I had paid for (£136!!). Not cool, Air Canada.  

Miss Anything:  I miss America.  I'm not going to into the ins and outs, but I love my hometown and miss everything about the place, my family and friends.  Hopefully we will be seeing you again soon!

Movement:   Loads of movement!  You can now feel a foot/head/bum bulging out of my side.  Slightly creepy and slightly alien-like....but it's a nice reminder that Baby McBerry is happy!

Cravings:   Ice poles!  I couldn't believe how badly I wanted these this week.  Unfortunately, they aren't really a popular item in the shops yet as it's not really summer weather yet.  We tracked some down in PoundLand yesterday and I'm waiting patiently for them to freeze.  I did bust out the Zoku for a Iced Tea lolly and that almost appeased me!

Looking forward to: It's an unbelievably busy week this week.  I have a midwife appointment on Thursday and am looking forward to hearing Baby's heartbeat and finding out next steps.  I had a glucose tolerance test on Tuesday where I had to starve myself, have blood taken, drink a lucozade and then wait TWO HOURS before another blood test.  That wasn't too bad, but my surgery keeps cancelling my appointments since our move.  Hopefully they actually have me on record for this week!

SNEAK PEEK!!

B and I finally managed to find a spare moment to create some sense of order in Baby's room!  I'm not going to post photos until it's done, but I'm *loving* the look of the room.  It won't be properly finished until baby is born as we have a route for Baby Boy McBerry and then a different route for Baby Girl McBerry. The foundation is the same, just slight additions of a few things!  I've just ordered more poms as there just isn't enough up there!

Poms (I LOVE Sarah at Pom Pom Studios - she is always helpful and efficient!)

B did a marvellous job painting our chest of drawers white!

We have also washed and folded all of the clothes (cutest laundry load ever?!) and have found a home for everything.  It really LOOKS like a baby's room now rather than just a dumping ground.  Hopefully next week we will be finished!  I can't wait to share!

We were gifted with so many amazing things while I was in America. Packing was slightly more challenging than I anticipated, but my mom is a super packer and managed to get nearly everything in my suitcase ("That's wasted space!  Let me stuff your underwear into those baby bottles."  Thanks, Mom.  Don't worry - I'll sterilise them). I had to pay excess baggage, but I figured it was worth it for all of the treats Baby McBerry would have upon arrival. 

With some of the money we were gifted, I bought this adorable Baby MD outfit. I thought B would appreciate it - I'm so in love and can't wait to put it onto our little one!!

Oh goodness....baby scrubs....

I've also been suffering from a serious case of post America blues!  It's so difficult to go from seeing people nearly every day to seeing them once in awhile over Skype. I really miss cuddles from this guy:

It's great to be at the age where friends and family are having babies!  I've never really been around babies since my own siblings were born. I was WAY too young to appreciate all that went into them being raised - so now I'm asking questions and seeking advice. It's been good fun comparing ante and post natal treatment.  Fun in the sense that I enjoy the horrified looks!

Another thing to look forward to this week is the Hen weekend for my friend, Gemma!  I can't reveal any details because it's all a big surprise, but I am *super* excited for the festivities!  Gemma was one of my first friends here in the UK and at my hen do managed to persuade me to dress up like a chicken. Good thing she was willing to put that chicken mask on so I didn't look like such a pratt! 

The tables have turned, Miss Coombs. 

In other good news, the weather is turning - spring has sprung, the sun is out (sometimes) and everything is in bloom!  Just think - ten weeks and we should have a little McBerry to enjoy the glorious British summer!  Happy Spring and a very happy week to everyone!

Xx

  

Bump Shot: 14 Weeks!

There's a little bump there!

How far along:  Fourteen Weeks! 

Weight Gain:  2 1/4 pounds!  Hooray!

Maternity Clothes:  I don't own anything yet, but I'm wearing the same five outfits every week (hopefully no one caught on to that).  All of my work trousers are officially too small - I may need to invest in some bottoms that don't squeeze my expanding belly.

Stretch Marks:  Nope!

Belly Button:  In!

Queasy or Sick:  Only a little.  The evenings seem to be the worst - most nights I'm just zoning out.  I am still taking the medication early in the morning to be safe!

Sleep:  I'm sleeping really well at the moment.  We bought some pop up black up blinds and they are amazing - more below. (embarrassed to confess we have been in our house for over a year and still haven't gotten a blind/shade/curtain for our bedroom skylight ).

Best Moment of the Week:  We had a scan on Friday and got to see Baby McBerry!  I find ultrasounds hilarious - our sonographer had me up and down and turning violently in order to get baby to turn over so she could measure it.  Hilarious.

Worst Moment of the Week:  Being told I was NOT allowed back in work as we have a case of Slapped Cheek.  Seriously - I've just come back?  I am allowed back, but I have to wait until Thursday to see if I'm immune to it, so in the meantime I'm allowed in work but I'm not allowed to touch anything.....Ok......

Miss Anything:  I've got a mad craving for some champagne.  I'm not a huge drinker, but the thought of a nice, cold glass of bubbly.  I've requested a case for my 30th....

Movement:   Not yet.

Cravings:  Chilli Heatwave Doritos.  Why can't I crave the healthy stuff??

Looking forward to:  The weekend!  B and I have special plans - stay tuned!

We went to Kiddiecare in Peterborough on Friday.  B has been dying to go and as it was the first weekend I actually felt somewhat human, we decided to check it out.  This place - only comparable to IKEA for babies - was AMAZINGLY OVERWHELMING.  

Not only was it a hot bed for hormones, it housed everything - and I mean EVERYTHING you need/want/imagined for a baby.  Things I didn't even know existed!

We got a pretty good list which I have combed through with my friend who is experienced in this whole world of babies (note four things are already crossed off! Yay!).  Heidi gave me great advice on what types of things were better than others, what can be borrowed and what was a must have.  I'm feeling slightly less panicked now. 

We bought the Lights Out Portable pop up blind - more so for us than for the baby.  They were only £10 for a pair.  Our bedrooms have one window - a slanted skylight which is fairly large.  Custom blinds were so expensive.  These just pop onto the window and keep out the light and in the heat!

We also bought a lovely little change table.  B's parents bought us a crib and mattress and we have a chest of drawers we are going to paint.  It was reduced because it had a tiny scuff on the back - quite frankly I thought it was a steal!

The final thing we bought was this ADORABLE Summer Buddy Elephant.  Our niece has one and we loved it - the stars on the ceiling are just perfect!

We decided to slowly acquire bits and bobs - but on the whole it's nice to know our big purchases are dwindling.

I don't plan on only writing about baby, but I thought I needed to get a bump photo on the blog before long.  It's been such fun at work as most of the kids know and will cheekily say "You're pregnant Miss, aren't you?"  One boy was horrified when I looked at him blankly and said I had a big breakfast, but I didn't think I looked THAT big.

Such fun, such fun!  

Xx

Baby McBerry: Estimated Arrival July 2014!

B and I are SO excited to announce we will be welcoming to the world a BABY MCBERRY in July!

I have to admit, I was shocked when we found out.  I felt strange and I knew something wasn't quite right, but I didn't expect the test to be positive!

For those who don't know, leading up to our wedding B wanted to join our surnames together to form the hybrid "McBerry."  I wasn't entertaining the idea as I was happy to get off the pound saver menu, but during the speeches at the wedding it caught on and EVERYONE toasted the McBerrys.

But let's talk about this pregnancy.  

How far along:  Thirteen Weeks! 

Weight Gain:  I've LOST a few pounds.  Thanks a lot, morning sickness.

Maternity Clothes:  I've been PJs for SEVEN weeks and leggings when I can leave the house.

Stretch Marks:  Nope, but I've got some Mustela cream on standby.  My skin is feeling super dry with the winter months so I've been using Winter Candy Apple body cream  (sold out it seems!) from Bath and Body works - smelling and feeling yummy.

Belly Button:  In!

Queasy or Sick:  Yes.  Just yes.  More below.

Sleep:  I love sleeping at the moment. I need 9 or 10 hours as well.  And when I'm asleep, I'm out.  No waking up or anything!  It's GREAT.

Best Moment of the Week:  On Friday I was driving to get some fennel (mad craving for THIS salad) and I suddenly realised - no nausea.  Nothing.  It was the first time I felt 100% OK in SEVEN WEEKS.

Worst Moment of the Week:  Waking up this morning and still being sick.

Miss Anything:  Normalcy?  Does that count?

Movement:  Early days. I can certainly tell there's something going in there though.

Cravings:  Orange everything.  Orange juice.  Orange soda.  Orange and fennel salad...

Looking forward to:  Going back to work!  Being forced to stay home was awful - I can't wait to get back to my department and the kids.

It was my intention to update the chalkboard weekly and then take a bump photo.  Yea....that's not happening when I've not showered.  I'll get on that in the next few days!
Now let's talk about this morning sickness.  

What a joke.  A joke that isn't funny AT ALL.

I've been suffering since Monday 18 November when I was six weeks.  I dragged myself to work and my show - MY SHOW!

By Thanksgiving, enough was enough, I went to the Doctors and was referred to the hospital.  I had keytones in my urine in addition to a possible UTI - I was severely dehydrated because of all of the nausea and vomiting.  Nothing was staying down.

I went straight to the Surgical Assessment Unit at the QEH.  I was put on a drip and given *great* drugs to relieve the sickness.  I've got to give the NHS a massive hand - they have been amazing over the past few weeks.

"You have the same thing Kate Middleton had!"  Thanks, Doctor.  Still doesn't make it any more glamourous.  

One of the worries with nausea in early pregnancy is a) twins or b) a molar pregnancy.  I wouldn't have minded twins (especially as I've said to B "NEVER AGAIN" numerous times a day), but a molar pregnancy is just plain awful.  

We went for the scan and all of the worries and sickness just sort of vanished - we saw the most amazing thing:  our baby.  It was tiny but had a wickedly strong heartbeat - it was racing a million miles a minute!  I nearly cried.  THAT little thing was causing all of this?!

Please excuse my awful appearance....

Once home I struggled with the sickness all of December.  I have been to and fro the surgery and the hospital for scans and appointments and check ups.  We got to see our little one again and are getting another peak on Friday.

The medication I have been on for the past seven weeks stops the vomiting MOSTLY but doesn't do much for the nausea.    And of those people who tell you 

"Oh, you should try this..." or "I never had any sickness..."

Yea.  I hate you.  

We tried everything.  There is no such thing as a "cure" for morning sickness.

Ginger.  Eating before getting up. Small meals.  Sea sickness bands.  Fluids.  Cold food.  Hard candy.  Peppermint.  Vitamin B6.  Lemon.

NOTHING WORKED.

The only time I ever get a little bit of relief was when I use our new Zoku Slush maker with Lipton Iced Tea.  I'm still working on getting my appetite back, but I finally want food - and I think that's a massive step forward.  Eating is a challenge, but I always feel better for it after. Small meals do work!

It's been a horrible few weeks.  I've never felt so low and so consistently worn down and exhausted before.  I don't like to sit, but most days I haven't been able to shower or get out of my PJs.  I would sleep, stare blankly and just wallow.  My mom took to phoning me at about 12:30 every day to check on me.  B was actually spraying me with the shower hose as I couldn't stand up and wash myself.   I missed Thanksgiving, the build up to Christmas and countless other things.

Everyone says it gets better - and I'm starting to believe them.  Finally, I feel a bit of relief.  Hopefully I can turn these feelings around and start loving pregnancy.  I've been so jealous of all of those glowing mums to be with their cute bumps...walking upright....hair done...vomit free.  Pretty soon that's going to be me!

Let's get this baby cooked and out of the oven!  Only 27 weeks to go!

xx