Here she is!

Beatrix Evelyn has finally arrived and we cannot actually believe how amazing she is!  

I had a planned caesarian section scheduled for September 8 and after the rocky pregnancy with HG, PUPPS and horrific heartburn, I was more than ready to meet the little miss.  

 Walking into the operating room was probably the scariest part of the whole ordeal.  When I had Emma, I had labored for 36 hours and then had an emergency caesarian.  I didn't have time to be nervous or take it all in because it happened so fast.  This time, there was a slow buildup.  I felt the spinal.  I could see the room and the people in it.  I waited anxiously for B to be allowed into the room.  I'm pretty sure my arm was tied down - that was frightening.  

The procedure itself went by quickly.  It's an aggressive surgery - if you've never had a section, that's one thing you don't really realize. There's a lot of pulling.  Nausea hits.  At one point, I thought my head was going to explode (and it was a good thing my arm was strapped down, as I wanted to grab the back of my head).  

The greatest moment?  When my doctor - who was amazing - told me to get ready and everyone shouted "Happy Birthday!" as this tiny little human was pulled out and held up for me to see. 

  

Beatrix Evelyn 

6 pounds 12 ounces

20 inches

Total perfection

I was so relieved.  I know you worry about whether or not baby will be ok, but when you're on those nausea meds, a little bit of anxiety creeps in and you hope you aren't hurting the baby by trying to keep yourself alive.  

The care I received at the hospital was nothing short of amazing.  Maternity ward nurses are truly amazing.  They know what to say to ease your worries and they certainly know how to help you maintain a little bit of dignity.  I was urged to stand on that first night and then helped to the bathroom the next day.  I had great breastfeeding support and Trixie had an amazing latch. 

Much like Emma, we had some feeding troubles.  Trixie was losing a bit more weight than we hoped and she was dehydrated.  We were given a SNS tube to give her a little top up for formula while she was breastfeeding.  After a few days, we had to use bottles to give her an extra ounce after feeds. She should be nearly back at birth weight....I'm hoping.

Emma has been an amazing big sister. She was so good for my parents and sister while we were in the hospital and even now as we are home, she is so helpful and careful around "her baby."  I'm surprised they sleep through each other - Emma doesn't wake up at night and Trixie doesn't seem bothered by Emma during the day.  She started dance lessons as a nice big girl treat.   We wanted her to have something of her own with all of the chaos of having a new baby in the house.  

So there's our little update!  We are ten days in and Trixie has proved to be an amazing sleeper and a champion eater!  I wouldn't have her any other way.  I cannot wait to be a bit more healed so that I can really enjoy time with my two girls.  

Fortunately, B is off for another three weeks so we can make the most of the time together as a family of four!  

I hope to keep you updated - I know I've not been very good with Blogging since our return to America. I hope to change that!  

Xx

Baby McBerry #2!

Surprise!

It looks like our little Berry patch is growing by one more this coming September. We are super excited - Emma is pretty indifferent. If you ask her if she wants a brother or sister, she'll say "sister."  If you ask if she wants a baby, she'll say "No."

You win some, you lose some I guess!

It looks like the blog is back with DOUBLE the trouble!  Emma and Baby McBerry 2 are coming at you! 

Let's talk about pregnancy because - how could you forget - I had a tough time when pregnant with Emma. Unfortunately, I'm victim to HG (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) for a second time. Fortunately, I'm allowed a heck of a lot more medication to try and control it. I'm able to function - so I've managed to go to work and drive and shower - you know, those little life luxuries I couldn't do when pregnant with Emma. I've got an amazing support network - B, my mom, dad and sister have been amazing and look after Emma when I just need to lie down.  The nausea is horrific, but I'm vomiting far less and able to eat and drink far more. I am hoping and praying it stops soon, as it does make for a very sad and difficult existence. 

I usually keep this blog as positive as possible, but I think there's something that needs to be said about HG.  

There are really great support systems set up for women suffering with HG.  It's not a joke, it's not morning sickness, and all of the normal "remedies" don't come close to helping.  This time is a little better than last time in the respect that I can function, but it's not fixed or bettered - people find that really hard to understand.  Some days are harder than other, some days are ok.  If there's one thing I've learnt throughout this whole process:  it's OK to find it difficult.  It's OK to be upset.  Yes, it's a blessing, but it's OK to find the sickness too much.  

A friend posted this article about HG pregnancies the other day and it really hit home for me.  It's brutally honest and says many of the things I'm not brave enough to say myself. No- it's not as bad as last time as I don't need fluids and have kept out of the ER, but the effect on me is just as powerful and just as bad. 

How far along:  14 weeks!

Weight Gain: 2 pounds

Maternity Clothes:  Oh yea. Mama isn't playing. I've got a nursing bra, maternity leggings and tops. I want to be comfortable and I want no pressure ANYWHERE near that bump. 

Stretch Marks:  Some of those old lines that faded are coming back to life. I've started slathering on some coco butter....we will see. 

Belly Button: What the heck is up with belly buttons!  It's week 14 and it's vast! It never really went back to normal after last time. I claim a design fault! 

Queasy or Sick:  Heaven help me. I take medication three times a day and I'm pretty good from 10-3. After or before is pretty ropey. Most nights I'm in bed by 6. 

Sleep:  Wonderful. Part of my medication cocktail is Unisom which is effectively a sleeping pill. It does truly tire me out so I sleep like a baby. 

 Best Moment of the Week:  This week I completed my FINAL weekend of Yoga Teacher Training (more on that later). I was so proud of myself because after ten weeks I was able to actually do a yoga sequence!  I've felt too awful to do much of anything, let alone yoga, and I did it!  

Worst Moment of the Week:  I had a night on my own without B and Emma. I saw a commercial for Taco Bell seven layer burritos and I immediately wanted one. Like - I was obsessed. I was too ill to move so I just sat whimpering to myself and looking pathetic. That's the worst moment of the week because it was pretty pitiful. 

 Miss Anything:  I could really REALLY go for a nice glass of wine. REALLY. 

 Movement:   Nothing yet! 

 Cravings:  Usually it's a Panera Asiago Cheese bagel and lemonade. Fortunately, I pass Panera four times a day. 👍🏻

 Looking forward to:  I have another scan in about a week. Until you feel movements, it's nice to know baby is still healthy and doing well.  I like that little bit of reassurance. 

And *new* this year...

Sister Emma's thoughts:  
Me: Do you like the idea of our new baby?
Emma:  I like the idea of apple juice.  

Xx

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY, EMMA ROSE!

Ok, ok.  This post is about a week late.  But hear me out:  this is the last monthly post.  I know.  It's a bit devastating. For me as my baby is growing up, but for you as your monthly Emma bites are done!  Fear not!  I'm going to write more (I promise!!) about what we are up to as a family.  B is rocking and rolling at work, I'm getting ready to start work (after a year long maternity leave....) and Emma is turning into a cheeky, fantastic little toddler.   Stay tuned - the best is yet to come. 

How Old:   ONE YEAR!!!!!

Weight:  23pounds 12 ounces (and off the chart for height! 2 ft. 8 in!)

Likes:  Walking, dogs, splashing in the bath, corn on the cob and reading books.

Dislikes: Being unable to explore, strawberries and blueberries, having her diaper changed and getting dressed!

Eating:   I feel as though we eat the same things day in and day out - but she LIKES what we give her....so.....is that a bad thing?  Breakfast is always quinoa with cooked apples and cinnamon or mushed banana.  Sometimes we throw some watermelon in there too!  Lunch and Dinner are usually exactly the same:  Meat (beef, lamb or chicken), sweetcorn, peas, green beans, broccoli - usually discarded on the side are beans and cauliflower.  We are trialling root vegetables and carrot did not go down well.  Sweet potato is currently under way and I feel a bit more positive about it!

Sleeping:  We are still going strong from 7 pm - 6:30 am!  I'm so pleased by this.  Hopefully she keeps up the good work when we move into our new house!

Routine:  I think she is starting to drop that morning nap.  I can't actually figure out what she wants as far as naps are concerned.  She has breakfast first thing in the morning - a nap at some point?  Recently she has skipped the morning nap but been grumpy!  I feel like it's cruel to leave her in the crib while she rolls around, but I am always wary of taking her out prematurely!  She has a mid morning bottle and then lunch at 12:30.  She has an afternoon bottle still, dinner at 5:30 and then bath at 6:30 followed by bed!

Sizes:  We are still in  9/12 month onesies.  As it has been so hot, she has been living in onesies and sandals.  She is in size 12 trousers and going on size 18.  The PJs for 18 months are really tight around her poor head - so I'm not sure what size she would wear for sleeping in!

Milestones: Emma has 7 teeth now! She is babbling away (plenty of reduplicated monosyllables) and can crawl after everything and anything.  She has an amazing pincer grip - she is especially good at getting those baby proofing socket protectors out of the electrical sockets.  She pulls up and cruises on furniture.  She tries to say "yes", "dog" and "duck", can find mummy's nose, sneezes (or rather - blows raspberries) when you say "bless you" and can even point to her own toes!  High fives and waving are given when she feels like it - and if you are REALLY lucky you may get a kiss. 

Mum's favorite moment:  I can't peg any single moment this month, but there is a new attachment Emma has to reading and it melts my heart.  She loves flip books - especially "Where's Kitty" but I got her an adorable fine art inspired book about King Henry's treasures.  She loves a cuddle while reading - probably on the the reasons why I love reading to her!

Dad's favorite moment:  Saturday morning breakfast!  I have been granted a lie in on Saturday mornings while B gets up with Emma and goes out for breakfast.  He gets her a fruit bowl and something full of meat and egg for himself and Skypes Grandma and Grandad UK!  It's the best thing in the world for all three of us!

I cannot actually believe it's been one year.

Emma has grown and changed so much.  We, as parents, have grown and changed even more.  One year ago if you would have asked me if I was cut out to be a mum I would have told you no. I'm no mother.  Well, I think the proof is in the pudding.  I am blessed with one pretty fantastic little girl.  She's healthy.  She's happy.  I think we have done ok.

It's been a year of highs and lows.  There are a few things I would have done differently, but on the whole, I think we made the best choices for Emma throughout her one year with us.  

I have to talk for a minute about the photos as they are amazing.  If you are in the Cleveland area (sorry, UK friends and family!), Brittany Gidley Photography is a miracle worker behind a lens.  She was wonderful with Emma and the photos are just stunning.  She told us that we needed more wall space - I can't help but agree.  

Like I said earlier, things are manic at the moment.  We have a lot going on and I promise to write about it as soon as things settle down a little bit!  I have so much to share and I can't wait to share everything with you!

Thank you so much for reading.  Thank you for a year of support, kind words, friendly smiles and faithful reading.  I'm so honored that so many people read this blog and have watched Emma grow up this year.

 

Bring on life with a ONE YEAR OLD!

Xx

11 Months!

How Old:   11 Months!

Weight:  (No idea!)

Likes:  Walking (with a death grip on our fingers), climbing stairs (with a significantly less urgent grip on our fingers), swinging, eating and clapping to music!

Dislikes:  Being told what to do in any way, shape or form. 

Eating: Emma is happiest when eating.  She loves bananas more than life itself and she is very keen on meat (chicken, beef, pork).  We seem to have our FPIES under control as I am wary to try anything too out of ordinary.  She has a very good diet - meat, fruit and veg.  Plus quinoa for breakfast.  I wish I had a bit more to offer her during breakfast, but quinoa flour hasn't convinced me yet!

Sleeping:  As always, Emma is a rock star sleeper.  She has gone 7 pm - 6:30 am for a long time now.  She does seem to be waking up earlier (around 5 or so) but plays in her bed until we go and get her.  I think she dozes off to sleep in that time. I feel guilty leaving her in bed, but every time I do get her earlier, she tends to cry!

Routine:  Her routine hasn't changed much since we have been in America.  She has breakfast first thing in the morning - a nap at 8:30.  A mid morning bottle and then lunch at 12:30.  She has an afternoon bottle still, dinner at 5:30 and then bath at 6:30 followed by  bed!  I'm not sure how babies go about dropping feeds, but she seemed to do it by herself.  I think she is getting less interested in bottles, but then she guzzles the lot.  She'll let me know when she is through I guess!!

Sizes:  She is rocking 12 month clothes - onesies are a touch big and trousers seem about right.  In all fairness, she has been wearing only a onesie or dress these days as it is so hot.  I ordered her a little pair of size 4 moccasins but they are miles too big!  Size 3 shoes (but she prefers bare feet!).

Milestones:  I think she has about 5.2 teeth at the moment and those dribble bibs are going nowhere. She is chattering away and trying to form words ("duck" was nearly "duck" the other night!), she knows who people are and can do basic commands ("up" and "kisses" are her best ones).  She waves, high fives and claps.  She has just started clapping above her head to music thanks to Auntie Erin.  She dances and rocks and is THIS CLOSE to walking.  She can roll around and move in her crib or when you are trying to get her dressed, but she isn't interested in crawling the rest of the time!  (UPDATE - SHE CAN CRAWL!)

Mum's favorite moment:  After her bath I did the usual towel dry (singing "snug as a bug in a rug" - of course) and put Emma down on our bed to put her jim jams and nappy on.  She started rolling - left, right, up, down.  I couldn't get the nappy on her bottom. She started laughing, realizing I was struggling, which made me laugh.  If someone was watching, I must have looked like a right idiot, chasing a tumbling baby around the bed with a nappy, unable to pin her down, both of us laughing - all whilst trying to prevent her from rolling OFF of the bed. 

Dad's favorite moment:  Dad's favorite moment comes on the EVE of Emma's 11 month birthday!  During the post bath roll around the bed whilst trying to avoid the nappy, Baby Emma decided to CRAWL!  She crawled towards Daddy a few times - I stood behind her jumping up and down with glee!  She found it hilarious (as usual) - I couldn't believe she FINALLY decided to crawl!

Let's talk about our All American Summer.  Seriously. It's All American.  We are LOVING the sunshine - although I'm pretty sure both B and Emma are wilting in the heat.  Fortunately, we found a bucket and chucked Emma in with some of her plastic balls.  She cooled down but decided she wasn't interested in sitting in a bucket.  She wanted out after about two minutes, drippy swim suit and all.

Summer is all about being outside and eating corn on the cob.  Two things we are doing a LOT of.  I am constantly covering her English skin in suncream as it is HOT and bright.  We have a cooler day today with a touch of rain.  I don't mind it - I'm sure she is happy!

      

We have been so lucky to have Auntie Erin home - plenty of play sessions, outings and walks with someone OTHER than mummy!  Erin is so good at distracting Emma - especially when she is about to cry.  We thoroughly enjoy our Dinner and a Show each evening when Erin serenades us.

Although B has just started work, we had loads of time together to have fun outings.  We went to a Lake County Captains game and sat in the TriPoint Loge. We didn't see much of the game as Emma wanted to walk up and down the steps, but it was a fun outing none the less!   

We also traveled down to Hartville, where we wandered around Ohio's largest Hardware Store and Flea Market.  I found the Hardware Store brilliant - especially the model homes INSIDE the store. The Flea Market wasn't really my cup of tea, but it was *brilliant* for people watching.  Emma enjoyed her first ride on a John Deer Tractor - I had to stop B from buying one.  

The final thing we did as a family is relatively bitter-sweet.  We travelled to Chicago to help clear out my Aunt's home.  For those of you who don't know, my Aunt passed away after a long battle with cancer this past March.  It didn't really seem real until we got to her house; I found it quite difficult.  

We managed a trip into the city for a day just to clear our heads, but in all honestly, it was hard work with a baby.  Small, crowded restaurants with no change tables seemed to be the norm.   I enjoyed the outdoor sights, but found it less accessible than London - which is really odd.

Emma was wonderful while we were in Chicago. I wasn't able to help as much as I would have liked as I was looking after her while everyone else was packing or lifting, but she managed to give us all a little something to smile about whilst doing a pretty challenging job. My final memory of my Aunt's house will be Emma, lying on the floor in the living room, filling the empty space with laughter and play.  If you knew my Aunt Rosie, you would agree that she would have loved that image.  

It's been a whirlwind of a month - Emma has grown and changed so much.  She is so much fun at this age.  I can't believe next month will be the big ONE YEAR!  Where does the time go?

Xx

Ten Months!

My Chalkboard is somewhere between here and King's Lynn!

How Old:   Ten months!

Weight:   21.8 pounds

Likes:   Walking (whilst pulling our fingers off), hitting things with her spatula, bouncing, chasing mummy, eating (especially peas), rocking out to music.

Dislikes:  Sitting - it's so overrated, being held too close, the hot Ohio weather last week, animals (it's like a new fear...I'm planning on exposing her to as many as I can!),  tomatoes, lime green hats (Uncle Chuck's managed to terrify her).

Eating:  We are slowly coming off of Nutramigen and replacing it with three meals, snacks and plenty of watered down squash. I can't get her to drink water, so I put a tiny squrit of Robinson's fruit squash in her bottle and she necks the lot.  As it's been so hot here, I am desperate for her to drink anything.  She has a new safe food - beef!  She loved the steak ground and mixed with veg, but was not keen on the mini meatballs. I'm trying stewed tomatoes today!  She's now starting to dislike us feeding her purees so we are leaning towards more finger foods.

Emma's first trip to Little Italy!

Sleeping:  Emma has been an absolute gem with settling into American time.  She didn't really sleep on the flight but went through the night the very first day we arrived.  She's still sleeping 7-6:30 with some hour long naps in the day.  

Routine:  Usually when Emma wakes up we give her breakfast right away.  She then has a play for an hour or so and it's back to bed for a nap.  After, we tend to get her out and about until bottle at 10:30 and lunch at 12:30.  She then has an afternoon bottle at 3:30 followed by dinner at 5:30 and bedtime milk at 7:00.  I'm not really sure how we got into this routine, but it seems to be working!

Sizes:  She's a solid 12 month USA sizes - I'm not entirely sure what she would be in UK sizes as most of our clothes are American.

Milestones:   Walking with help, feeding herself (finger foods), waves and clapping (plus the odd high five!).  She can do something if she is shown once - using her spoon as a drumstick, rocking, etc. She can wave, high five and give kisses (only if you're mummy) on demand.  She even has started to fake sneeze and say what sounds like "Ah-choo!"

Mum's favourite moment:  There have been some absolute gems of moments this months.  The clapping or the pure look of glee on Emma's face when we gave her the lawnmower to push.  She has so much personality at the moment and I'm loving it!

Dad's favourite moment:  While waiting on B's new Kia, Emma started to get bored in the waiting room.  B put her on his shoulders and started chasing me around the showroom.  She was shrieking with laughter - proper baby squeals and laughs.  We were in hysterics as she was so delighted by the whole scenario.  

She loooooooves the new Radio Flyer trike

Moving to America has been one HUGE endeavor.  I have a separate post in the making outlining the move and all of the joy surrounding that.  It is so nice to be with my family; I really appreciate the help with Emma on a daily basis.  It's also been wonderful to have my darling B back after his relentless shifts before the move.


I don't know who looks happier!

We are obviously missing England - our friends and family mostly - but we are slowly working our way through and establishing a life here.

So far we have:

1.  Bought a car

2.  Registered Emma at a Doctor

3.  Signed up for an Old Navy, Babies R Us, Starbucks and Dick's Sporting Goods store cards

4.  B got a fishing license

5.  Registered for a one year membership to Anytime Fitness - I love it!

6.  Eaten our weight in good food - Salads at Arabica are our favorite
7.  Bought a big girl car seat - Graco All in One

8.  Eaten Froyo (most important item on the list)

Emma is settling right in.  She loves her new room and the new toys which Nonna has borrowed/found for her.  She has played with her cousin James (probably the most adorable game of peek-a-boo ever). And she has made loads of new friends.  We have a  few more playdates scheduled or on the horizon, plus some great ideas for things to do in the area (thanks for the suggestions!).  I've just bought her a swim suit as I'm pretty sure we will be spending plenty of time in a paddling pool if the weather is anything like it was last week!

We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our shipping (scheduled for arrival in Cleveland on the 25th May) as we are keen to have our high chair and other bits and bobs.  I don't even remember what we packed, come to think of it.  In order to make room for our lives I had to get rid of everything in my old room - funny how much stuff you have saved over the years!  I found everything - photos, old notebooks, essays, a time capsule, old report cards.  I even managed to find $100 in a card from when I got straight As - it pays to go through everything!

All in all, we are getting there.  It's been so very hard to leave the people we love, but distance means so little when people mean so much.  You're in our hearts.  I hope you all know that.



As for us, you know I'll keep blogging.  Emma is getting bigger and more and more clever - I don't want you to miss any of that!  So if you don't get to see me or talk to me every day to find out what is going on, I'll keep you updated here, on instagram or on Facebook.  Don't worry - we will be right here.  Thank you, cyberspace.  You managed to close that gap that is the Atlantic.

Xx

Nine Months!

How Old:   Nine months!  She's been out as long as she was in! 

Weight:   21 pounds?? Maybe??? 

Likes:   Standing (with help), bouncing, her mini jam jar, chewing on everything, eating. 

Dislikes:  Having her bum changed, the slow service mummy and daddy sometimes offer, her formula! 

Eating:  Emma has done so well with food this time around! I've just written a post about our experience with FPIES and it was actually featured on the FPIES UK website. We have quite a few safe foods and Emma seems to love everything! Her favourites seem to be quinoa, butternut squash, red pepper and lamb!

Sleeping:   She's such a rock star. She's consistently going 7:30 - 6:00. Don't talk to me about jet lag. I don't even want to think about it! 

Routine:  We have dropped a few bottles! Much to our dismay, Emma isn't interested in her milk. She has breakfast when she wakes up follows by a full bottle at 10:00 am. She then has lunch at 12:30, a full bottle at 3:30, dinner at 5:30 and then a night bottle at 7:00. I'm not sure what we should be doing, but she won't have the bottle with her food and we are determined to keep her protein levels up! 

Sizes:  She's now a size 4 nappy and 9 month onesies. The trouser situation is another story. 12 months? 18 months? She is LONG! 

Milestones:   High Fives! What a dude. Waving Hi/Bye (when she feels like it). Rotating and making a move to crawl - although No movement yet. Standing with help. She also had her first pair of shoes bought for her!  

Mum's favourite moment:   Feed time - every day!  Emma’s reactions are hilarious - she loves food and often stops and just waves at me or tries to kiss me.  I melt…and steer clear of her dinners with lamb.

Dad's favourite moment:  B has a few this month:  while packing boxes for the move, I asked B to pack everything he didn't want to take on the plane. Emma ended up in a box surrounded by clothes. He also likes the fact that Emma's babbling is more along he lines of dadadada and not mama mama. 

In other news, things are slowing progressing with the big move to the USA!  Moving when you have a baby (or are pregnant for that matter) really stinks.  Moving to a new country when you have a baby is downright rotten.

Let's look at my life:

 

Hmmmmm.....

There is SO much to think about when moving abroad.  Last time I did this, I literally packed up a few suitcases and jumped on a plane.  We didn't have accommodation and I didn't have more than clothes and a laptop.  After eight years I have gained a LOT of stuff including a husband and a baby.

So - where on earth do we begin?  We have sold and donated virtually everything we own.    The important stuff is all coming with us via barge and it takes roughly three weeks for everything to arrive in Cleveland.  We have had to pack our three suitcases because we need to know how much we CAN take on the flight and what has to go in the shipping.  I can only imagine what will happen in the last week when we discover we have things we should have shipped.  We will cross that bridge when we get to it though!

I think the reality of leaving is starting to set in. We have said our “See you soon”s to family and friends - each time it is getting more and more difficult. 

(Our Awesome Leaving cake - compliments of my wonderful Mother in Law!)

More on all of that later!  As for now, I’m going to attempt to continue packing! 

Embracing the Allergies

This week is Allergy Awareness Week and as a result, I thought I would write about our experience with FPIES.

 When Emma was quite new we thought we would try out some Cow and Gate formula.  Breastfeeding just wasn't quite working and we needed to get her weight up - so we figured a top up would be the best thing to do.  She vomited.  Not a little spit up - but a proper vomit.  I remember coming downstairs and I found B sleeping on the floor with her and she was wrapped in a towel.

We tried formula again a few months later (November), and this time, we nearly sent her to A and E.  After severe, projectile vomiting Emma went limp and unresponsive.   Little did we know that our little one was allergic to cow's milk protein.  

Being the stubborn person that I am, I declared that that was the final straw for formula. Why would I give my baby something which caused that reaction?  After quite a bit of arguing and kicking off with our GP, we ended up with Nutramigen, an amino acid based formula for babies with milk protein allergies.  I thought it was the end of our problems as she started to fill out and progress well with the formula.  

And then we began weaning.   Acting on advice, we started weaning her using the Gina Ford puree method.  What is the first thing you are meant to give babies?  Baby Rice.  She didn't like it.  Next?  Something easy.  Sweet Potato.  Carrot.  Things were ok for awhile, but as I increased the volume of puree, she suddenly started reacting in exactly the same to certain foods as she did the formula.  The projectile vomiting, the limp and unresponsive state.  

What's a mother to do?  Any time I went to the doctor I was told I just needed to try foods and see how she reacted.  I hated that idea - why force her to eat something if I know she can't handle it?  My instincts told me that Emma wasn't ready for solids just yet.  We could wait - she was getting everything she needed from the Nutramigen.   She LIKED food - she liked the taste and texture.  So we would give her food to play with - I just wasn't interested in forcing her to eat it.

This all went along fine until Nursery suggested that she needed cereal of some sort.  They suggested Baby Porridge - sure enough, five hours later, she vomited in her car seat and started choking.

Enough was enough.  I wanted an answer.  The Doctors, Dieticians and Health Visitors couldn't help me, so I had to find the answer myself - with the help of my dad and some other contacts we discovered FPIES.

FPIES - Food Protein-Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome.  Her reaction is textbook:

According the FPIES website:

"The classic pattern of an FPIES reaction is when a healthy infant or child develops symptoms shortly after eating a food. There is a characteristic delay of 2-3 hours before onset of severe and repetitive vomiting and eventually diarrhea.  The child may appear very ill and sleepy (lethargic), and may become pale or blue.  When evaluated by a doctor, he/she may be found to have low blood pressure, seem dehydrated, and have blood tests that mimic infection (sepsis); which in some cases can lead to sepsis-like shock."

And just like that - I felt better.  It's an answer. I found my way to the FPIES UK site and the support I got from them has been amazing.  The site has so much information on it.  The group have been my guardian angels over the past few weeks.  Any questions I have had - morning or night, someone would always take the time to offer advice or share ideas.  We are all parents who are afraid to feed out kids - we don't know what food is safe and the only way to find out is trying - and sometimes failing.  

They told me to get two lists:  Safe foods and trigger foods.  Try a teaspoon of a new food - see what happens.  Even a small reaction could become greater with a greater volume.  I've been using the Food Survey from other families to try and figure out what to try for our food trials.

There was a wealth of information available suddenly - not medical information - but information from PARENTS.  Parents who have have kids who suffer from FPIES and just want to help out other mums and dads.  For them, I am incredibly thankful.

Emma's lists
(and we are so lucky compared to some other little ones)

SAFE FOODS
Melon, Pear, Pea, Courgette, Banana, Blueberries, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Apple, Butternut Squash, Prune, Cantaloupe, Green Bean, Chickpeas, Sweetcorn, Red Pepper, Quinoa, Kale, Cinnamon, Clove

TRIGGER FOODS
Milk, Oats, Rice, Carrot, Sweet Potato, Potato, Parsnip, Cod, Cornflour

Is it scary?  Yes.  It's also frustrating, stressful and heartbreaking.  It's not fair.

But the good news is there is help.  I am so grateful for the FPIES community as they are helping me embrace food and feed my baby with confidence.  

The moral of this story:  Trust your instincts.  
I knew something wasn't right and I'm glad I fought it.

The FPIES Awareness video from last year circulated the support group the other day.  Please watch and listen.

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