Where have I been???

Dear Baby,

Things have been quiet here in cyberspace.  You wouldn't know anything about that though, as it's been mummy and Emma fun days nearly EVERY day.  For everyone else reading my posts, I've been right here - in Ohio - trying to figure out how to live life again.

I'm not going to lie, I've had my fair share of pangs of homesickness since returning to my original home.  Like now - I'm currently writing this post whilst having a glass of wine and listening to KLFM.  My mom asked why I'm feeling so nostalgic.  I can't quite put my finger on it.  Perhaps I miss the comfort of the life we had?  I know we will be settled soon, but I'm just guessing that may be the cause to my desire to shop at Tesco or eat at Middleton Steak House.  

It's been a bit of a culture shock (coming home).  I mean, this is the post I should have written weeks ago, but I couldn't bring myself to write anything down.  I was so set on returning home but at the same time I loved so many things about living in England.  After eight years I was coming back.  Was it a failure?  Mission accomplished?  I don't know.  

In truth, I had the experience of a lifetime living in England.  It was amazing.  It was hard work.  It was incredibly frustrating, downright hilarious and overwhelmingly busy.  I loved the experience - I just didn't love it every day.  

When I was preparing move to England I frequented a forum for present and new teachers moving with Bluewave Teacher Recruitment Agency. I met a woman who was returning to America after ten years of living in England. I asked her why she wanted to come home. She said she was ready. 

I never really understood that. Initially, anyways. To me, England was going to be a potentially permanent move. It was just so new, exciting and just so quentisential. 

I don't know what attracted me to the country; perhaps it was the accent or the literature. Maybe the scenery. The tea. London? Whatever it was, that choice led me to a whole new world which shaped me into a completely different person. 

Eight years. 

Eight different homes (72, 47, 125 Gaywood Road, Poppyfield, London Road, The Cottage, 212 Main Road and Watlington!)

Seven counties visited outside of Norfolk (Kent, Cornwall, Devon, Leicestershire, Cambridgeshire, Yorkshire, Sussex)

Six hilarious yet challenging years in the English department

Five musicals with the King's Lynn Players (Witches of Eastwick, 42nd Street, Guys and Dolls, Hot Mikado, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas)

Four holidays abroad with B (USA, France, the Maldives and Mexico)

Three cars - ALL Manual Drive! (Renault Clio, Volkswagen Polo, Mini One)

Two job titles (Drama Teacher and English Teacher)

One wedding. 

One husband. 

One baby.  

You.

Eight years.  I can’t believe I have closed that chapter of my life.  Some moments I catch myself thinking about England and missing the people or places.  I don’t think that will ever go away.  I haven’t had any pangs of doubt or worry; I still believe moving back here to America was the right choice for us as a family.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss the place which held so much value in my life.  If it wasn’t for that outrageous moment where I declared that I was going to move to England, there would be no Daddy or you. What kind of life would that be?

You only lived there for a fraction of time - your first home and room and town was only yours for 9 months. But let me assure you, that place was full of wonderful people and places.  

The lessons I learnt there are immeasurable.  

Then again - the lessons we are learning here are pretty exciting too.  We have a new house, jobs and are making new friends.  There are so many exciting opportunities just waiting for us.  I can't tell you that I prefer one place over the other because I love different things about both.  Both are my home. Both hold my family.  Both have my heart.

You may ask me in years to come why we moved.  We did so because we believed it was the right place for us as a family. I missed my family. We moved for you.  I can't wait to see what you do in this exciting place.

Love always,

Me xxx

Dear (American) Baby,

Dear (American) Baby,

Tomorrow marks a very important day.  It is my last official day as a teacher at KES.  After eight years I am finally making good on my promise.  We are going home!  

I know in 10 years you are going to ask why we left England.  When I was younger, I would have loved to have lived somewhere a bit different.  You may not think much of Ohio, but I'll tell you what - that place gets under your skin.  I am so passionate about our great state - and not just because it is home.  It's a good place.  It really is.  There really is no place like home.

The word "home" has been playing on my mind recently.  What exactly is "home?"  If I asked my students they would tell me it is a place where you feel safe and loved.  It is where you have family.  You have two passports and you have a family who loves you on both sides of the Atlantic.  That's incredibly lucky.  Your situation is a little bit different - but I think that is part of what makes you as special as you are.  You are both English and American - plus you would have lived in both places.  So where is your home?

Home is where Daddy and I are.  We could make a cardboard box home.  Because really - it doesn't matter where we are living or what cars we are driving or who we are surrounded by.  We are going to be happy wherever we are together.  

I didn't realise that when I was younger.  Perhaps I knew your Daddy was out there an I just needed to find him.  Back in 2007 I promised Nonna I would only move to England for a year.  One year.  I was going to teach in this exotic place called King's Lynn.  The only thing I knew about it was that there was a Youtube video that showed someone driving around the one way system in the town.

I think it was luck that I ended up here because nearly everyone I meet always asks me "Why on earth would you move to King's Lynn?"  Fate?  Maybe.

One year turned into three so I could finish my Masters at Cambridge University.  Then, Daddy finally had the guts to ask me out.  Eventually, one year turned into eight years so he could finish Medical School and complete his US Medical exams.  

It was now or never.  I couldn't let Nonna down.  

Living in England has taught me a lot about life.  I learnt who I am as an individual - I did something pretty ridiculous when I picked up and moved across the Atlantic.  I discovered that I am actually a little bit brave.  I learnt that I can do what seems impossible.  I learnt my strengths and weaknesses.  As a teacher, I have learnt who I am in the classroom.  I found my voice and I know how to teach a subject which I love.  I am thankful for the chance to meet so many fascinating people - they really taught me to become the person who I am.

If I'm honest, I'm a little bit scared of moving back to America.  I've been gone for so long. So many of my friends have moved on - is it fair to come back and pick up where we left off?  I've gotten used to the English way of doing things - can I pick and choose which way to do things?  Am I going to remember to drive on the right side of the road?

There are so many things that I have loved about living here - the coast, the cups of tea, the castles, the random sheep hanging out in the road.  I think I'm going to miss a lot of things - but then I remember all of the things I miss about Ohio and I get confused.  I know that I can love both places and love different things about each place.  But I don't think we have to like one place better than the other. I don't think that is the point of having a history in a place like this.  I think we need to look back on our chapter entitled "King's Lynn" and smile at the memories.  We can look back and remember - there is nothing wrong with that - but we also need to look at the Present - the here and now and love and cherish everything we are DOING. 

Whilst the move back to America is daunting and overwhelming, I am enjoying it. I am enjoying going through our things and remembering. I'm OK with passing certain things on to someone else because I know they are going to create their own memories with something that meant a lot to me.  

This, Emma Rose, is a huge adventure.  You are only little and have no idea what is happening around you, but trust me - everything is changing.  This change is going to be happy and sad, scary and uncertain, exciting and stressful.  

My English baby - you are also an American baby.  Never forget where you come from - never forget where you are going.  After all, both places have made you (and me) into the person you are.

Love always,
Me

Three months!

How Old:   Three months!

Weight:  10 pounds

Likes:   Bright lights, baby swings, grandparents and being held so she can see everything!

Dislikes:  The car (she HATES getting in her car seat and melts down if she even sees it!), being held close (sweaty baby) and mum and dad "not doing it (being anything) right!"

Eating:  We are still going strong with breast feeding although formula is just not happening. She vomits everything - even the special hydrolyzed stuff from the doctor. I wish I could just give her breast milk forever, but I can't pump enough to sustain her - especially when I go back to work.  I think I detect a problem! 

Sleeping: I always feel like I'm getting somewhere with sleep and then we take a few steps backwards. Emma is getting much easier to put down for naps and can go anywhere from 20 minutes to two and a half hours. At night she is AMAZING!  She's gone stretches of five hours and usually only feeds once now. Of course we have massively screwed her up by giving her jet lag but she still managed to sleep for nearly eight hours the other night!  Victory!! 

Routine:  I've totally got this. Up by 7- feed for 35 min, play until 8:30, mini melt down, nap. Repeat!!   I read the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (and let me say - it's the best baby advice book I've read to date) and it described the different types of babies - Emma is a "spirited" baby to a T!   I really listened to the advice in the book and suddenly I started to understand her -- I would recommend that book over and over again!

Sizes:  WELL. Emma wears a three month Carters onesie but SIX month leggings as she is just all legs! She's still in one month Mothercare onesies. I keep saying her shape is more American.  That's my girl.

Milestones:  Oh, the smiles...they just melt my heart. She's even started to cough while smiling - we know it's the start of her laugh!  She's cooing away and will have a nice little conversation with you if you're lucky!

Mum's favourite moment:  Flying from Newark to London and sleeping.....the WHOLE TIME.  When people compliment you over and over for how awesome your baby was - you just can't help but beam with pride!

Dad's favourite moment:  My mom and sister bought Emma the little pink skeleton outfit (sold out, but similar here). We dressed her in it one morning at about 5am and then propped her up in bed with my sister (who had drawn the short end of the stick and was sleeping in the corridor on a blow up mattress. The glowing skeleton in bed with Erin was truly hilarious.

We had an AMAZING time in America and we are so grateful for having the opportunity to go.  B's parents are so generous and I cannot thank them enough for taking us to see my family!

Emma's first plane journey was a success!  

She enjoyed loads of cuddles and did really well on the first leg - it was on the way home that she really REALLY slept though!

We wanted to Baptise Emma, but thought it was really important to do so in Ohio.  My brother and sister are her Godparents and the dress was the same dress all three of us wore and originally was worn by my Aunt Rose.  We had so many family and friends come to celebrate with us!

She changed so much over the two weeks we were in Ohio - I thought she became far happier and much more settled.  It's probably due to all of the brilliant people she met!

Mom and Dad were obviously smitten, but so was the rest of the family!  Obviously!!

  

Cutest Owl ever?  I think so.

My brother, Brian, and his girlfriend, Deepika, joined us all the way from Texas.  Emma was only a little peanut compared to Uncle Brian.

Auntie Erin was particularly in love - fortunately she didn't cry too much in the night and wake her up (seeing as she was the only person who had to leave us and go to work during the week - poor Ron needed her sleep!)

Aunt Rosie also had Emma cuddles - I love this photo of them, although I wish Em would grow some hair already!

We took Emma to the nursing home to see my Grandpa and she started kicking off and crying - Grandpa immediately reached out to comfort her and she calmed down.  She whimpered and he started to stroke her feet.  I know he has dementia and doesn't recognise me, but he recognised a baby and knew what needed to be done to help her.  

B and I did manage to sneak away for an evening and had our first DATE since Emma was born.  We left the grandparents with a bottle of breastmilk (which took me FOUR DAYS to express) and headed to Tremont for drinks and dinner.  We started out at Press Wine Bar for a much needed glass of wine and then had an amazing meal at the ever so trendy Parallax.  They specialise in sushi and fish dishes and they did not disappoint.  

Finally, we headed to Patterson's fruit farm for some apple cider and pumpkin fun with B's mum and dad.   I LOVE autumn in Ohio as the leaves are just beautiful and apple cider is probably the best drink EVER.

Emma was loving her stroll in the moby wrap - and then we decided to take a photo of her in the pile of pumpkins...

Nope.  Not having it.  (Seriously though - how cute are those PJs?)

All in all, it was an amazing trip to see some amazing people. Emma is so lucky to have so many wonderful people in her lives.  B and I are so grateful for the love and support everyone has shown and we can't wait to see everyone again soon.

 

Xx

5 things I will be taking back to England with me

The past two weeks have just flown by.  I cannot actually believe that my time here in Ohio is over and I am going to be heading back to ol Blightly over the weekend.  It's even more difficult to believe that the next time I come back, I'll have Baby McBerry with me - in the flesh!

There are a few things I'll be  taking home with me in addition to my kick butt gifts for Baby.

1.  Raspberries and Strawberries are ALWAYS a good idea
I'm fairly certain I've eaten close to six pounds of each over the past two weeks.  (Think my belly has grown?  Nope, it's just fruit and Fritos)   I LOVE berries.  Baby LOVES berries.  Why on earth don't we buy berries in England?  

Berries are always a good idea.  PYO season will be here before we know it, so there's no excuse for us not to stock up on these delicious little gems.  In the meantime, Tesco may charge an arm and a leg for them....but it's totally worth it.

2.  Happy Little Trees

I can't actually believe you can still watch Bob Ross on WVIZ. I just stood watching him the other day in awe.  The Bob Ross philosophy has always made me smile - there are no mistakes, just happy accidents. Things that don't appear "right" can be turned into something great. Perspective is a beautiful thing. Thanks, Bob. I needed that reminder. 

3. Tradition 

We have so many family traditions. When you live about 4,000 miles away you tend to become slightly removed from tradition.  It could be convenience or lack of resources, it could be because some things just aren't done. For one reason or another, I've lost so many traditions.  

I haven't coloured Easter eggs or gone to a fish fry in seven years. Seven. I've taken to hiding B's Easter egg - merging the two ways of celebrating Easter. I'm not sure he likes searching for his chocolate in the house, but it's tradition. Baby McBerry will definitely have an Easter basket.  Baby will definitely be dressed up for Halloween.  Baby will send Valentines and wear green on Paddy's day. Tradition. It's important.

4.  The McDonalds Filet-O-Fish Song

Seriously.  What is that advertisement?  I can't get it out of my head.  I don't like filet-o-fish - let alone McDonalds.  I have visions of singing this four weeks down the line and no one will have a clue what I'm talking about.  I know.  And that's torture enough!

5.  Sometimes you just need to curl up on the sofa and watch Frozen

When I come back to Ohio, I like to spend my evenings with my family.  We've gone out together to get ice cream, we've popped out for drinks at the Winking Lizard, but my favourite times have been curling up in the living room and watching a film with the family.

B and I work so hard during the week.  It seems by the time we get home and eat I have a few hours worth of work to do and before you know it - it's bed time.  Is it worth it?  I don't think so.  Obviously things need to get done, but I think recharging in the evenings needs to be a new priority.  Besides - who could pass up on the opportunity to watch Frozen?

Five things that won't take up any room in my suitcase, but five things I'm more than happy to be taking back to London with me.  It's hard to believe that the next time I'm back here it could be for good.  

B reminded me today that we need to spend the next year relishing all that England has to offer.  He's got a point.  What I've always loved about living in England is the "quintessentially English" things. Stay tuned - I have a feeling the next year is going to be a year to remember.

Xx