Dear (American) Baby,

Dear (American) Baby,

Tomorrow marks a very important day.  It is my last official day as a teacher at KES.  After eight years I am finally making good on my promise.  We are going home!  

I know in 10 years you are going to ask why we left England.  When I was younger, I would have loved to have lived somewhere a bit different.  You may not think much of Ohio, but I'll tell you what - that place gets under your skin.  I am so passionate about our great state - and not just because it is home.  It's a good place.  It really is.  There really is no place like home.

The word "home" has been playing on my mind recently.  What exactly is "home?"  If I asked my students they would tell me it is a place where you feel safe and loved.  It is where you have family.  You have two passports and you have a family who loves you on both sides of the Atlantic.  That's incredibly lucky.  Your situation is a little bit different - but I think that is part of what makes you as special as you are.  You are both English and American - plus you would have lived in both places.  So where is your home?

Home is where Daddy and I are.  We could make a cardboard box home.  Because really - it doesn't matter where we are living or what cars we are driving or who we are surrounded by.  We are going to be happy wherever we are together.  

I didn't realise that when I was younger.  Perhaps I knew your Daddy was out there an I just needed to find him.  Back in 2007 I promised Nonna I would only move to England for a year.  One year.  I was going to teach in this exotic place called King's Lynn.  The only thing I knew about it was that there was a Youtube video that showed someone driving around the one way system in the town.

I think it was luck that I ended up here because nearly everyone I meet always asks me "Why on earth would you move to King's Lynn?"  Fate?  Maybe.

One year turned into three so I could finish my Masters at Cambridge University.  Then, Daddy finally had the guts to ask me out.  Eventually, one year turned into eight years so he could finish Medical School and complete his US Medical exams.  

It was now or never.  I couldn't let Nonna down.  

Living in England has taught me a lot about life.  I learnt who I am as an individual - I did something pretty ridiculous when I picked up and moved across the Atlantic.  I discovered that I am actually a little bit brave.  I learnt that I can do what seems impossible.  I learnt my strengths and weaknesses.  As a teacher, I have learnt who I am in the classroom.  I found my voice and I know how to teach a subject which I love.  I am thankful for the chance to meet so many fascinating people - they really taught me to become the person who I am.

If I'm honest, I'm a little bit scared of moving back to America.  I've been gone for so long. So many of my friends have moved on - is it fair to come back and pick up where we left off?  I've gotten used to the English way of doing things - can I pick and choose which way to do things?  Am I going to remember to drive on the right side of the road?

There are so many things that I have loved about living here - the coast, the cups of tea, the castles, the random sheep hanging out in the road.  I think I'm going to miss a lot of things - but then I remember all of the things I miss about Ohio and I get confused.  I know that I can love both places and love different things about each place.  But I don't think we have to like one place better than the other. I don't think that is the point of having a history in a place like this.  I think we need to look back on our chapter entitled "King's Lynn" and smile at the memories.  We can look back and remember - there is nothing wrong with that - but we also need to look at the Present - the here and now and love and cherish everything we are DOING. 

Whilst the move back to America is daunting and overwhelming, I am enjoying it. I am enjoying going through our things and remembering. I'm OK with passing certain things on to someone else because I know they are going to create their own memories with something that meant a lot to me.  

This, Emma Rose, is a huge adventure.  You are only little and have no idea what is happening around you, but trust me - everything is changing.  This change is going to be happy and sad, scary and uncertain, exciting and stressful.  

My English baby - you are also an American baby.  Never forget where you come from - never forget where you are going.  After all, both places have made you (and me) into the person you are.

Love always,
Me

Eight Months!

How Old:   Eight months!  I can't actually believe that.

Weight:   Our last weigh in was 17 pounds 3 ounces....she is much bigger than that though!

Likes:   Being chased and tickled, bouncing in the jumperoo, playing with her tea cup or new sippy cup, splashing in the bath, watching other kids.

Dislikes:  Getting out of the bath, going in her carseat (hello, legs of steel), having her nose wiped (GEEZE that's a challenge!)

Eating:  YAY FOR SOLIDS!  We have success - finally!! We are trying small amounts at noon with the occasional breakfast and dinner.  So far she has had an likes peas, courgette, melon, avocado and banana!  We think there is a problem with root vegetables... More on that later.

Sleeping:  We went through a phase last week when she had bronchitis where she was waking up every two hours or so and crying her little heart out.  She's been a wheezy, coughing mess and hating every minute of it!  She seems to be back to normal now and is back to sleeping 7:30 - 5!

Routine:  Feeds every three-four hours but I think she needs a bit of a 

Sizes:  She is still rocking size 3 nappies (only just fitting into them) and now GROWING OUT of 9 month clothes.  We just bought her 12-18 month jeggings!!  What?!

Milestones:  She is rocking at those reduplicated monosyllables (Dadadadada) and her abs are seriously made of stronger things than metal.  She can stand up with help next to the sofa - especially if there is a phone or remote control nearby for her to grab and gnaw on.  She's also SWIMMING!  She had her first underwater swim and cried. She also had her first experience on a swing - that was a good laugh!

Mum's favourite moment:   We play this new game where we hold Emma over one of our shoulder and the other chases her around the house.  This is all done to the song of pacman.  We are all laughing hysterically by the time that is over.  (Close second this month - B sneezed whilst holding Emma and she sobbed.  I sneezed in front of her and she laughed so hard she started snorting and some of her milk came out of her nose.  I died.)

Dad's favourite moment:  Anything that involves making her smile with a wide open mouth and scrunched up nose!  It's actually hilarious when she gets so excited and pulls this face!

I am a few days late with this post as we have had some very sad news in our family.  My beloved Aunt and Godmother, Rosanna, has passed away in my family home after a long battle with cancer.  Our hearts are heavy - but I am so glad that she had the chance to hear our exciting news:

We are moving back to America.

I can't actually believe I am writing those words.  It doesn't feel real yet, but I can assure you - it is very real.  B has a job in Cleveland!
We are going home!

 Emma has clearly taking the news well and is enjoying play time with her Auntie Erin, Granddad and Nonna! They will soon be fed up with us I'm sure!

We have enjoyed our time together at weekends and evenings, but I can't WAIT to spend all day every day with Emma!  As of Friday, I am finished with work and will become a full time MUM!

We are going to have a few weeks in America as a family - it'll be nice considering how work heavy the first year or so will be for B!

  

But seriously - that face.  I can't get enough!  Our little English Emma Rose is soon to be an American Emma Rose!

Xx

Remembering Rosie

On Tuesday, 17 March 2015, we lost my wonderful Aunt and Godmother, Rosanna Garofalo.  She was one of the most wonderful people I've ever met - not only because she was my Aunt, but because she was a downright wonderful person.  She suffered for a long time with various forms of cancer thanks to Lynch Syndrome, but throughout the whole ordeal she kept her head held high and worked and played hard.

I think we are all still in shock as she was just so young and taken from us far too soon. I'm still struggling to accept it.  Although I was unable to attend the funeral, I wrote the Eulogy which my sister, Erin, read.

Remembering Rosie

When I was a little girl, I remember staying with Rosie at Grandma and Grandpa’s house the night before Christmas Eve.  We snuck downstairs late that night and ate Hershey kisses off of the cookie trays.  The next morning my Grandmother was so confused as she was sure she had set out the Hershey kisses.  We giggled because it was our secret.  That was the kind of person Aunt Rosie was.  She laughed.  She always aimed to be a good person.  She loved her family unconditionally and put her heart and soul into building relationships with others. 

We are here today to remember her.  This is the third time in eighteen months our family has come to church to remember and celebrate one of our dearly departed.  Those of us in the family knew Rosie as an aunt a sister a niece and a cousin.  She was taken from us far too soon, but she wouldn’t want us to mourn her; she would want us to remember her vibrant and happy life.  It was only in the last several months when she started to feel unwell, that we learnt how many lives she made better just by being Rosie.

She moved to Boston almost 30 years ago and then on to Chicago. We never really knew how smart of a businesswoman she was, how well she understood her industry or how hard she worked.  Regardless of how she felt, she always asked others how they were doing.  In her job, she worked tirelessly to make sure her client’s needs were met.  Her colleagues told us that she was a force to be reckoned with and when she put her mind and strong work ethic to something it would always get accomplished.

Rosie always came home for Christmas and other holidays and quite often stayed at our house.  I think our most fond memories of her always seem to revolve around Christmas.  While preparing the Italian Christmas Eve feast, Rosie would excuse herself for a few hours to get her nails done and would come back when all of the work was finished.  The only thing left to make was the cocktail sauce – and it became her official job – year after year.  She would always sit with us on Christmas morning and enjoy every laugh and smile as each present was opened.

She enjoyed keeping up with current events and could often be found sitting at our kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. She really enjoyed reading the paper but compared to the Boston Globe and the Chicago Tribune, she claimed nothing ever happened in Painesville.  Of course, that didn’t stop her from reading it.

She loved kids - especially babies - and they loved her.  She was convinced that Baby James’ first words should and would be “Rosie”.  That led her to look at him or hold him and say “Rosie Rosie Rosie” over and over again, day in and day out, even last week.  We are still waiting on James to catch on.

Rosie loved the beautiful things about life.  She always had her nails done in exotic red and we would often laugh at her refusal to help with washing or cleaning as her nails were drying.  As a tribute to her spirit, many of the ladies here today have had their nails done so the gentlemen here better be prepared to pitch in.  One of her dreams was to see Andrea Bocelli in concert, and this “bucket list” item came true last December when my sister Erin went with her.  Rosie sang and cried along with the beautiful music.

She found beauty in many things. For many years, every Saturday was spent visiting garage sales, always hunting for treasures and then trying to get these items into her brothers’ or sister’s house.  She collected turtles of every shape and size and loved flowers in hanging baskets.  Our family will continue to honour her memory every spring and summer when we place flowers at the entrance to our homes.

It’s very fitting, as the name “Rose” means beautiful flower.  But we, Rosanna's family and friends know that she was more than just a beautiful person.  A rose is, after all, more than a flower which brightens up a room.  It is a beautiful and powerful symbol.  It stands for love and forgiveness. It represents romance and strength. The rose is powerful because it still grows, year after year, bright, beautiful and resilient.

That’s what our Rosie was like - powerful and strong.  Even in the face of cancer, she fought and endured.  She still kept her head held high and had faith.  Her faith and her church kept her strong throughout so much heartache and suffering.  The recent passing of both Emma and Carmelo has left us all feeling a sense of sadness and emptiness.  But I think for Rosie, she felt their loss deeper, probably because she too was suffering.

Last Monday we learned that my family here in England will be moving back home to America, we think that she was waiting for that news.  Being home with family is so important.  No matter how long you are away, when you are with family, you are home.  There’s a reason my daughter is named Emma Rose.  I hope and pray that she will grow up to be as kind and thoughtful and as powerful and strong as the two women she is named after.

I recently heard a story which leaves me confident that even in our darkest hours, when faced with trials and struggles, those who we love who have gone before us are with us, watching and protecting us.

Rosie believed that cardinals are messengers and they are the spirit of those who have passed coming to tell us something.  Last December, Rosie was outside her house trying to remove a hose from the spigot and was struggling to disconnect it.  She either wasn’t strong enough or not using the right tool, but for whatever reason, she couldn’t do it. She became frustrated and upset until she turned around and saw two cardinals - a male and a female - watching her.  She tried one last time to remove the hose - and it came undone.  It wasn’t chance or coincidence.  Her faith told her that her parents were there, watching and protecting her.

I have no doubt that she is now watching over all of us. That is the kind of person she was.  We never knew how many people her life touched until she returned to us a few weeks ago.  Friends from so many times and places in her life came together to let her know that she mattered so much to them and they truly loved her.  We all had the chance to let her know how important she was and she deserved to know.  We will always see signs that will remind us of her.  Whether it is a sign for a garage sale, a newspaper and a cup of coffee, a genuine smile, a turtle, or a simple rose, we will always remember our Rosie.

I found writing this incredibly difficult.  I know we are supposed to remember the good things about Rosie and celebrate her life, but I can't help but feel an incredible sense of sadness at her loss.  A family friend sent us this quote and it has become the informal theme for our remembrance of Rosie:

"When you die, it doesn't mean that you lose to cancer.

You beat cancer by how you live, why you live,

and in the manner in which you live."

How very true those words are for my beautiful, kind hearted Aunt.  Cancer has an awful lot to answer for, and I pray every day that a cure is soon found and my daughter never has to know the pain of losing someone she loves to this horrible disease.

Hold your loved ones a little bit longer tonight. You never know how much time you have left together.

Xx

Happy Seven months, Emma!

How Old:   Seven months!  Where has the time gone?!

Weight:   No idea....How bad is that? I wouldn't even like to guess.

Likes:   Bouncing, chewing on anything and everything, melon, going for walks

Dislikes:  The fact that we move everything she *shouldn't* have out of the way

Eating:  We are still on formula five times a day.  She likes eating, it is just that food doesn't agree with her.  We tried baby porridge and had a severe vomiting incident a few hours later.  It's so weird as she likes eating and is fine for a few hours.  Then she vomits until she is limp.  It freaks me out when it happens

Sleeping:  We officially have our nights back.  This kid sleeps - and sleeps well. We put her down by 7:30 and she is up by 6:00.  She naps OK during the day - not great - but OK!  I'll take it!

Routine:  Feeds every three-four hours.  She's clockwork.  

Sizes:  Oh boy.  US - 9 month clothes - perhaps creeping into 12 month trousers.  UK sizes I think she is just now hitting 6 month clothes.  To be honest, we are decked out in Carters.  She's an American girl at heart!

Milestones:  She's hilarious.  She can sit up - even stand with help.  Will she roll over?  Nope.  Crawl?  Nope.  I think I'm ok with that though.  Her teeth are growing, she's so inquisitive and her babbling is coming along just perfectly!

Mum's favourite moment:   Every time I pick Emma up at nursery she starts kicking until they pass her over to me. She then holds my face in her hands and squeezes it, making one of her adorable little babbles to let me know she is happy to see me.  

Dad's favourite moment:   We moved the TV remote out of her reach so she decided to stand up next to the sofa and try and get at it.  Granted, I was holding her quite firmly, but that leg control was all her!  She looked at us as if to say - Go on. Move stuff.  I'll find a way to get it.

We had an adorable Valentines Day - complete with a sweet little love note exchange from our 
awesome BFF Big M!

 

It's been an interesting six weeks.  I have survived my first half term back to work - but this week off is the most needed thing ever.  I have desperately wanted to spend time with Emma again, plus I've needed a little break from all of the busy day to day nonsense.  With B on nights and away for two weeks, the past month left us with very little family time since the new year - that is something I am desperate to get more of.

The past few weeks have been hard for the following reasons:

1.  I don't want to leave this face every day.

2.  I don't want to spend my evenings working - I want to spend the evening with these two.

3.   I want to be there to figure out and perfect THIS:

    

4.  And THIS:

So a massive hats off to all working moms.  I think deep down everyone feels like they are going to miss out on the good stuff - that's what makes it so difficult.  

Being a working mom has proved to be hard work. I have serious respect for all of those working mamas out there because there is such a skill to balancing everything and feeling as though you haven't failed in one category of your life.  I genuinely believe that by leaving Emma at Nursery she is gaining valuable social and interpersonal skills.  She loves going and I love it when she is happy.

The difficulty comes in the evening when I realise that I get to spend about an hour with her.  Babies get grumpy in the evening - I get it - but it is just so unfortunate that when I am able to spend time with her, she is unhappy or sleeping.  

I refuse to work when she is awake.  I have gotten very good at time management and I find I am working more efficiently.  I use my time wisely when I'm at work and after Emma goes to sleep.  Of course, that time is also needed to clean, cook and prepare bottles!  I don't think I manage this very well.

There always seem to be 1001 things to do and I think I was trying to do them all perfectly.  I've decided perfection is doing the best you can.  Some days I feel that I've let work down.  Some days I feel I have let my family down. I need to work on snapping out of that because I know I'm not letting anyone down.

Mother's Guilt.  It's a real thing.  Seven months in and I am confident that THAT is true!

SO you can see why this week has been so important for me!  Unfortunately, Emma has been quite poorly so far this week; I've not had much rest or quality time with her yet.  Bless her, she still gives us a smile and plays her little heart out.

(Happy Pancake day!)

Xx

Happy Half Birthday, Emma!

How Old:   Six Months!  Half a year old!

Weight:   15 pounds (I think!  I can't get her weighed anymore!)

Likes:   Bouncing in the door bouncer and jumperoo, walks in the pram, putting anything and everything into her mouth, sitting in the high chair and playing with an orange (I know...)

Dislikes:  Baths on her own, a lack of variety (this kid....)

Eating:   I've chickened out and am sticking with Nutramigen for now.  She has 5-6 bottles a day.

Sleeping:  Sleep has turned pretty consistent these days.  She has her final feed at 7:00 and by 7:30 she is often asleep for the night. She wakes up between 3:50 and 5:00 am for a feed and is ready to go to sleep pretty much right after.  She's gotten so much better at napping in the day and has two naps 1.5 hours long plus a small doze in the evening during our walk.  The other day she started waking up earlier and earlier in the night - I had to leave her to cry one night - only for about 30 minutes.  It was horrible, but she did go back to sleep and has been going until 5:00 most mornings!  Hooray!

Routine:  We are sticking to three -four hours between feeds due to the fact that I can't increase her volumes or give her solids thanks to her vomiting issues.  

Sizes:  She is certainly going to be tall, this kid.  We are finally in 9 month US leggings and 6 months tops.  In UK sizes she can wear 6-9 months as she is so LONG!  I can' keep it all straight.

Milestones:  We are still waiting for rolling over.  But although wobbly - she is pretty good at sitting up!  Sitting in the high chair seems to be her new favourite position so it makes sense for this to be her next step!  She is really not keen on being on her belly so I've stopped pushing her. She'll get on it when she's ready.  I DID however find her at the top end of her crib sucking on Brian Bear's ear.  How she got there I'm still trying to work out.
UPDATE:  I FORGOT!  She is also babbling (reduplicated monosyllables - yay! And how rubbish for her that mummy teaches Child Language Acquisition) AAAAAAAAND -- there's a TOOTH coming!  I can see it!!! 

Mum's favourite moment:   I can get Emma to laugh by doing something seemingly stupid.  The other day I sneezed and she laughed hysterically.  I tried to repeat the sneeze with a fake - she had none of it.

Dad's favourite moment:   Fighting with Emma over the TV remote.  He wanted to use it.  She wanted to eat it.



So what's been happening this month?  Well, Emma had her first Christmas and it was wonderful fun!  We had such a nice time with the Guyatt family on Christmas day and the Berry family on Boxing day!  Ems was in wrapping paper heaven (as I'm sure all babies are!).

What comes hand in hand with Christmas?  Mine and B's anniversary!  We celebrated our two year anniversary in London with a special trip to Harrods (Hello, Mulberry) and Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park.  The absolute highlight of our trip was the day we spent in Regent's Park.  The gardens are just gorgeous and there is a swish little cafe with a to die for menu.  What better way to spend the last weekend in December, eh?

        

And then came January and my return to work.

Um.

Well.

Emma has loved Nursery.  They have been wonderful.  She is so happy and aside from the first day hasn't cried at all.  She has napped well and is coming home every day in a good mood.  It's a massive change than when I've had her on my own.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Stay tuned.  We've got some potentially exciting news on the horizon.

Xx

Five months!

How Old:   Five Months!

Weight:   14 pounds, 1 ounce

Likes:   Bouncing in the door bouncer, singing and dancing with mummy and daddy (daddy sings the Time Warp...mommy likes to attempt to rap), walks in the evenings to look at Christmas lights, splashing in the bath and playing with/sucking her toes!

Dislikes:  Being held too close, having her arms pulled in and out of clothes (don't touch them!!!) ((having a baby doll did not prepare me for having a real baby)) , and being stuck in the same position for too long.

Eating:   We have settled nicely into the Nutramigen (prescription formula) and although it smells horrible, Emma doesn't seem to mind the taste.  We have also taken a break from weaning onto solids as we had a spell of vomiting and couldn't work out the cause.  She seems OK now, so I'll slowly introduce them in the next few weeks again.  She loved pretty much everything she tried except for Carrot and Baby Rice!

Sleeping:  What a rock star this child is.  She has started this new trick of getting fussy as she is tried, I put her down in the crib on top of her V Pillow (she has always done better when sleeping with her head propped up)- she turns her head and she is out.  We have worked out that she sleeps best when swaddled (although she is growing out of the largest Summer Infant swaddles - much to our dismay) and in the dark (hooray for blackout blinds).  This makes it difficult to get her to sleep when out and about, but I think in the long run this is a good thing!  She has gone through the night a few times, but mostly she is waking once for a feed and then goes straight back down until 6 am.

Routine:  Oh, who knows.  I've had to write her routine out for Nursery and I have no idea what schedule she is on anymore!  Thanks to formula, she is now going four hours between feeds and her naps are sometimes two hours, twenty minutes or missed all together.  I don't get it.  Her bedtime routine is the only consistent thing:  Nightly walk, bath, feed, bed.

Sizes:  She fits quite comfortably in 0-3 month UK sized clothes at the moment.  Her length is still the issue though - as she's about to grow out of 6 month Carters sleepers!  Hello, 9 month sizes!

Milestones:  She has rolled over ONCE!  Emma hates being on her tummy so decided she wasn't interested in that.  She loves the bouncer so I wouldn't be surprised if she's going to bypass crawling and go straight for walking.  She LAUGHS and it is the most adorable thing ever.  Plenty of cooing going on, plus responding to being spoken to!

Mum's favourite moment:  The first time we put her in the bouncer she didn't quite know what to do.  Her feet flailed about a bit - so I did the only appropriate thing -- I played an Irish jig.  Hilarious. 

Dad's favourite moment:  Emma's face when she was first bouncing in the bouncer!

In other news, we are SO EXCITED for Emma's first Christmas.  She got to meet Father Christmas (so cute), she enjoys the lights and the Christmas tree.

I can't wait to share our Christmas with you!  I'm not going to discuss my first week back to work....give me time.  I'll accept it eventually. 

Look at that face...



Yea...maybe not.

Xx

Maternity Leave is ending....

It is with a very heavy heart that I write this post. Before you read on, please understand that I know how fortunate I am to live in a country which values maternity leave. We are so very lucky to be offered a year of leave - three of those months receiving some pay from work. Due to both finances and our potential move abroad, I had to return to work. While I find the return heartbreaking, I know that every other mother feels the same way upon their return to work.  What's more - I had far more time with Emma than most mothers get with their little ones. I am by no means unaware of how fortunate I have been.

I had chosen to return to work the week before the Christmas holidays as I believed it would be easier to get back into the swing of things right before the two week holiday. I would have to spend the Christmas holiday preparing, so I may as well get paid for it, right?  The return five days before the break also meant that I could ease myself in - leaving my precious baby for only five days before I would be with her again for two weeks.  

Let's get one thing straight. I never thought I would be maternal...I didn't think I had it in me. I have always been a relatively selfish individual - and before you say "no, you are being too hard on yourself" - yes - I have always been selfish. I wasn't convinced I wanted to change my physical appearance. I didn't want to lose sleep. I didn't want to give up things which I did or bought or ate or used.  I was happy with my life and the way we lived. 

And then along came Emma. 

I didn't realise my life was half empty. I didn't know my heart was missing something. I couldn't initially comprehend the love that I feel for her or the way she makes me feel.  She was part of me for nine months and then virtually attached to me for four. We've been inseparable. I've not even spent more than a few hours away from her (and I can count those occurrences on one hand) and she's nearly five months old. 

Now, I have to leave her for most of the day, five days a week - and it's honestly breaking my heart. She will love being with other kids and she will love the different activities they do at nursery.

I know it'll be fine.

That doesn't mean I am ready.

What makes things even harder is that I know my job. I know the time commitment it takes. I've always prided myself on my work ethic and I've always met deadlines and ensured the quality of my work is high. In the years I have worked there, I've spent hours every night commiting myself to my career, trying to be Perfect. For years I have allowed myself to become buried in work - wading my way through endless piles of paperwork and never quite being good enough. 

And now I've realised that that is not ok anymore. 

I don't know how to be both a successful teacher and a mom. I'm not sure I can do both. I'm not saying it can't be done, I'm just saying that I'm not sure that I can do both.  

Emma is the piece of my heart that I didn't even know was missing.  I know I have to return to work, but that only means for eight hours a day I will be missing a very important piece of myself. I will be half present.  My commitment is at the bottom of the school field - playing her day away in a brightly coloured nursery where someone else will change her and feed her and hold her. 

Half may not be good enough - half committed to my work or half committed to my daughter. 

She wins - every time. 

The only consolation to returning is that I know it won't be forever. I know that something is coming. Never the less - the next few weeks are going to be difficult. 

I've watched her sleep over the past few days, loving her gentle breathing and relaxed, comfortable form. I am going to savour every second spent with my beautiful little girl - she is, after all, the piece I never knew I was missing. 

Xx