Where have I been???

Dear Baby,

Things have been quiet here in cyberspace.  You wouldn't know anything about that though, as it's been mummy and Emma fun days nearly EVERY day.  For everyone else reading my posts, I've been right here - in Ohio - trying to figure out how to live life again.

I'm not going to lie, I've had my fair share of pangs of homesickness since returning to my original home.  Like now - I'm currently writing this post whilst having a glass of wine and listening to KLFM.  My mom asked why I'm feeling so nostalgic.  I can't quite put my finger on it.  Perhaps I miss the comfort of the life we had?  I know we will be settled soon, but I'm just guessing that may be the cause to my desire to shop at Tesco or eat at Middleton Steak House.  

It's been a bit of a culture shock (coming home).  I mean, this is the post I should have written weeks ago, but I couldn't bring myself to write anything down.  I was so set on returning home but at the same time I loved so many things about living in England.  After eight years I was coming back.  Was it a failure?  Mission accomplished?  I don't know.  

In truth, I had the experience of a lifetime living in England.  It was amazing.  It was hard work.  It was incredibly frustrating, downright hilarious and overwhelmingly busy.  I loved the experience - I just didn't love it every day.  

When I was preparing move to England I frequented a forum for present and new teachers moving with Bluewave Teacher Recruitment Agency. I met a woman who was returning to America after ten years of living in England. I asked her why she wanted to come home. She said she was ready. 

I never really understood that. Initially, anyways. To me, England was going to be a potentially permanent move. It was just so new, exciting and just so quentisential. 

I don't know what attracted me to the country; perhaps it was the accent or the literature. Maybe the scenery. The tea. London? Whatever it was, that choice led me to a whole new world which shaped me into a completely different person. 

Eight years. 

Eight different homes (72, 47, 125 Gaywood Road, Poppyfield, London Road, The Cottage, 212 Main Road and Watlington!)

Seven counties visited outside of Norfolk (Kent, Cornwall, Devon, Leicestershire, Cambridgeshire, Yorkshire, Sussex)

Six hilarious yet challenging years in the English department

Five musicals with the King's Lynn Players (Witches of Eastwick, 42nd Street, Guys and Dolls, Hot Mikado, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas)

Four holidays abroad with B (USA, France, the Maldives and Mexico)

Three cars - ALL Manual Drive! (Renault Clio, Volkswagen Polo, Mini One)

Two job titles (Drama Teacher and English Teacher)

One wedding. 

One husband. 

One baby.  

You.

Eight years.  I can’t believe I have closed that chapter of my life.  Some moments I catch myself thinking about England and missing the people or places.  I don’t think that will ever go away.  I haven’t had any pangs of doubt or worry; I still believe moving back here to America was the right choice for us as a family.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss the place which held so much value in my life.  If it wasn’t for that outrageous moment where I declared that I was going to move to England, there would be no Daddy or you. What kind of life would that be?

You only lived there for a fraction of time - your first home and room and town was only yours for 9 months. But let me assure you, that place was full of wonderful people and places.  

The lessons I learnt there are immeasurable.  

Then again - the lessons we are learning here are pretty exciting too.  We have a new house, jobs and are making new friends.  There are so many exciting opportunities just waiting for us.  I can't tell you that I prefer one place over the other because I love different things about both.  Both are my home. Both hold my family.  Both have my heart.

You may ask me in years to come why we moved.  We did so because we believed it was the right place for us as a family. I missed my family. We moved for you.  I can't wait to see what you do in this exciting place.

Love always,

Me xxx

Ten Months!

My Chalkboard is somewhere between here and King's Lynn!

How Old:   Ten months!

Weight:   21.8 pounds

Likes:   Walking (whilst pulling our fingers off), hitting things with her spatula, bouncing, chasing mummy, eating (especially peas), rocking out to music.

Dislikes:  Sitting - it's so overrated, being held too close, the hot Ohio weather last week, animals (it's like a new fear...I'm planning on exposing her to as many as I can!),  tomatoes, lime green hats (Uncle Chuck's managed to terrify her).

Eating:  We are slowly coming off of Nutramigen and replacing it with three meals, snacks and plenty of watered down squash. I can't get her to drink water, so I put a tiny squrit of Robinson's fruit squash in her bottle and she necks the lot.  As it's been so hot here, I am desperate for her to drink anything.  She has a new safe food - beef!  She loved the steak ground and mixed with veg, but was not keen on the mini meatballs. I'm trying stewed tomatoes today!  She's now starting to dislike us feeding her purees so we are leaning towards more finger foods.

Emma's first trip to Little Italy!

Sleeping:  Emma has been an absolute gem with settling into American time.  She didn't really sleep on the flight but went through the night the very first day we arrived.  She's still sleeping 7-6:30 with some hour long naps in the day.  

Routine:  Usually when Emma wakes up we give her breakfast right away.  She then has a play for an hour or so and it's back to bed for a nap.  After, we tend to get her out and about until bottle at 10:30 and lunch at 12:30.  She then has an afternoon bottle at 3:30 followed by dinner at 5:30 and bedtime milk at 7:00.  I'm not really sure how we got into this routine, but it seems to be working!

Sizes:  She's a solid 12 month USA sizes - I'm not entirely sure what she would be in UK sizes as most of our clothes are American.

Milestones:   Walking with help, feeding herself (finger foods), waves and clapping (plus the odd high five!).  She can do something if she is shown once - using her spoon as a drumstick, rocking, etc. She can wave, high five and give kisses (only if you're mummy) on demand.  She even has started to fake sneeze and say what sounds like "Ah-choo!"

Mum's favourite moment:  There have been some absolute gems of moments this months.  The clapping or the pure look of glee on Emma's face when we gave her the lawnmower to push.  She has so much personality at the moment and I'm loving it!

Dad's favourite moment:  While waiting on B's new Kia, Emma started to get bored in the waiting room.  B put her on his shoulders and started chasing me around the showroom.  She was shrieking with laughter - proper baby squeals and laughs.  We were in hysterics as she was so delighted by the whole scenario.  

She loooooooves the new Radio Flyer trike

Moving to America has been one HUGE endeavor.  I have a separate post in the making outlining the move and all of the joy surrounding that.  It is so nice to be with my family; I really appreciate the help with Emma on a daily basis.  It's also been wonderful to have my darling B back after his relentless shifts before the move.


I don't know who looks happier!

We are obviously missing England - our friends and family mostly - but we are slowly working our way through and establishing a life here.

So far we have:

1.  Bought a car

2.  Registered Emma at a Doctor

3.  Signed up for an Old Navy, Babies R Us, Starbucks and Dick's Sporting Goods store cards

4.  B got a fishing license

5.  Registered for a one year membership to Anytime Fitness - I love it!

6.  Eaten our weight in good food - Salads at Arabica are our favorite
7.  Bought a big girl car seat - Graco All in One

8.  Eaten Froyo (most important item on the list)

Emma is settling right in.  She loves her new room and the new toys which Nonna has borrowed/found for her.  She has played with her cousin James (probably the most adorable game of peek-a-boo ever). And she has made loads of new friends.  We have a  few more playdates scheduled or on the horizon, plus some great ideas for things to do in the area (thanks for the suggestions!).  I've just bought her a swim suit as I'm pretty sure we will be spending plenty of time in a paddling pool if the weather is anything like it was last week!

We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our shipping (scheduled for arrival in Cleveland on the 25th May) as we are keen to have our high chair and other bits and bobs.  I don't even remember what we packed, come to think of it.  In order to make room for our lives I had to get rid of everything in my old room - funny how much stuff you have saved over the years!  I found everything - photos, old notebooks, essays, a time capsule, old report cards.  I even managed to find $100 in a card from when I got straight As - it pays to go through everything!

All in all, we are getting there.  It's been so very hard to leave the people we love, but distance means so little when people mean so much.  You're in our hearts.  I hope you all know that.



As for us, you know I'll keep blogging.  Emma is getting bigger and more and more clever - I don't want you to miss any of that!  So if you don't get to see me or talk to me every day to find out what is going on, I'll keep you updated here, on instagram or on Facebook.  Don't worry - we will be right here.  Thank you, cyberspace.  You managed to close that gap that is the Atlantic.

Xx

Dear (American) Baby,

Dear (American) Baby,

Tomorrow marks a very important day.  It is my last official day as a teacher at KES.  After eight years I am finally making good on my promise.  We are going home!  

I know in 10 years you are going to ask why we left England.  When I was younger, I would have loved to have lived somewhere a bit different.  You may not think much of Ohio, but I'll tell you what - that place gets under your skin.  I am so passionate about our great state - and not just because it is home.  It's a good place.  It really is.  There really is no place like home.

The word "home" has been playing on my mind recently.  What exactly is "home?"  If I asked my students they would tell me it is a place where you feel safe and loved.  It is where you have family.  You have two passports and you have a family who loves you on both sides of the Atlantic.  That's incredibly lucky.  Your situation is a little bit different - but I think that is part of what makes you as special as you are.  You are both English and American - plus you would have lived in both places.  So where is your home?

Home is where Daddy and I are.  We could make a cardboard box home.  Because really - it doesn't matter where we are living or what cars we are driving or who we are surrounded by.  We are going to be happy wherever we are together.  

I didn't realise that when I was younger.  Perhaps I knew your Daddy was out there an I just needed to find him.  Back in 2007 I promised Nonna I would only move to England for a year.  One year.  I was going to teach in this exotic place called King's Lynn.  The only thing I knew about it was that there was a Youtube video that showed someone driving around the one way system in the town.

I think it was luck that I ended up here because nearly everyone I meet always asks me "Why on earth would you move to King's Lynn?"  Fate?  Maybe.

One year turned into three so I could finish my Masters at Cambridge University.  Then, Daddy finally had the guts to ask me out.  Eventually, one year turned into eight years so he could finish Medical School and complete his US Medical exams.  

It was now or never.  I couldn't let Nonna down.  

Living in England has taught me a lot about life.  I learnt who I am as an individual - I did something pretty ridiculous when I picked up and moved across the Atlantic.  I discovered that I am actually a little bit brave.  I learnt that I can do what seems impossible.  I learnt my strengths and weaknesses.  As a teacher, I have learnt who I am in the classroom.  I found my voice and I know how to teach a subject which I love.  I am thankful for the chance to meet so many fascinating people - they really taught me to become the person who I am.

If I'm honest, I'm a little bit scared of moving back to America.  I've been gone for so long. So many of my friends have moved on - is it fair to come back and pick up where we left off?  I've gotten used to the English way of doing things - can I pick and choose which way to do things?  Am I going to remember to drive on the right side of the road?

There are so many things that I have loved about living here - the coast, the cups of tea, the castles, the random sheep hanging out in the road.  I think I'm going to miss a lot of things - but then I remember all of the things I miss about Ohio and I get confused.  I know that I can love both places and love different things about each place.  But I don't think we have to like one place better than the other. I don't think that is the point of having a history in a place like this.  I think we need to look back on our chapter entitled "King's Lynn" and smile at the memories.  We can look back and remember - there is nothing wrong with that - but we also need to look at the Present - the here and now and love and cherish everything we are DOING. 

Whilst the move back to America is daunting and overwhelming, I am enjoying it. I am enjoying going through our things and remembering. I'm OK with passing certain things on to someone else because I know they are going to create their own memories with something that meant a lot to me.  

This, Emma Rose, is a huge adventure.  You are only little and have no idea what is happening around you, but trust me - everything is changing.  This change is going to be happy and sad, scary and uncertain, exciting and stressful.  

My English baby - you are also an American baby.  Never forget where you come from - never forget where you are going.  After all, both places have made you (and me) into the person you are.

Love always,
Me

29 weeks: Hello, Third Trimester!

Old Navy Maternity Dress (Similar)

How far along:  Twenty-nine Weeks!

Weight Gain:  21 Pounds (that number was a bit higher when I got back, but I blame that on American food - it quickly dropped off once I returned to jolly old England)

Maternity Clothes:  But of course!  I have started to think about hospital bag packing and that has commenced some rather horrified conversations between myself and some American mums. Things are done slightly different over here. One thing I've been thinking about is nursing tank tops and like the look of this.  I'm in love with the nursing bras I bought from Target!

Stretch Marks:  Since the appearance of those cheeky little things on my chest, I've been inspecting daily - nothing new....slight relief!

Belly Button:  Is it normal for that area of my stomach to be flat as a pancake?  B told me I'd explode unless I expand more....

Queasy or Sick:   Feeling good!   Some heartburn in the evenings, but it's nothing too unbearable.  

Sleep:  I like my sleep a bit too much at the moment. I'm still going to bed quite early and needing it.  

Best Moment of the Week:  Sunday morning with B.  We put on BBC Radio 2 (Sunday morning love songs), made scrambled eggs on bagels and fresh coffee.  Before we knew it, it had been nearly an hour since we had sat down!  We don't get time to just sit and chat with both of us being so busy.  It was a beautiful morning and the best possible way to spend it.  

Worst Moment of the Week:   LAST Sunday morning when I arrived at Heathrow airport.  I had a rather traumatic trip back from America and just burst into tears as soon as I saw B.  I was overly tired as I didn't get any sleep on the turbulent flight and my feet and ankles were swollen beyond reason as my seat had been changed and I didn't get the extra leg room I had paid for (£136!!). Not cool, Air Canada.  

Miss Anything:  I miss America.  I'm not going to into the ins and outs, but I love my hometown and miss everything about the place, my family and friends.  Hopefully we will be seeing you again soon!

Movement:   Loads of movement!  You can now feel a foot/head/bum bulging out of my side.  Slightly creepy and slightly alien-like....but it's a nice reminder that Baby McBerry is happy!

Cravings:   Ice poles!  I couldn't believe how badly I wanted these this week.  Unfortunately, they aren't really a popular item in the shops yet as it's not really summer weather yet.  We tracked some down in PoundLand yesterday and I'm waiting patiently for them to freeze.  I did bust out the Zoku for a Iced Tea lolly and that almost appeased me!

Looking forward to: It's an unbelievably busy week this week.  I have a midwife appointment on Thursday and am looking forward to hearing Baby's heartbeat and finding out next steps.  I had a glucose tolerance test on Tuesday where I had to starve myself, have blood taken, drink a lucozade and then wait TWO HOURS before another blood test.  That wasn't too bad, but my surgery keeps cancelling my appointments since our move.  Hopefully they actually have me on record for this week!

SNEAK PEEK!!

B and I finally managed to find a spare moment to create some sense of order in Baby's room!  I'm not going to post photos until it's done, but I'm *loving* the look of the room.  It won't be properly finished until baby is born as we have a route for Baby Boy McBerry and then a different route for Baby Girl McBerry. The foundation is the same, just slight additions of a few things!  I've just ordered more poms as there just isn't enough up there!

Poms (I LOVE Sarah at Pom Pom Studios - she is always helpful and efficient!)

B did a marvellous job painting our chest of drawers white!

We have also washed and folded all of the clothes (cutest laundry load ever?!) and have found a home for everything.  It really LOOKS like a baby's room now rather than just a dumping ground.  Hopefully next week we will be finished!  I can't wait to share!

We were gifted with so many amazing things while I was in America. Packing was slightly more challenging than I anticipated, but my mom is a super packer and managed to get nearly everything in my suitcase ("That's wasted space!  Let me stuff your underwear into those baby bottles."  Thanks, Mom.  Don't worry - I'll sterilise them). I had to pay excess baggage, but I figured it was worth it for all of the treats Baby McBerry would have upon arrival. 

With some of the money we were gifted, I bought this adorable Baby MD outfit. I thought B would appreciate it - I'm so in love and can't wait to put it onto our little one!!

Oh goodness....baby scrubs....

I've also been suffering from a serious case of post America blues!  It's so difficult to go from seeing people nearly every day to seeing them once in awhile over Skype. I really miss cuddles from this guy:

It's great to be at the age where friends and family are having babies!  I've never really been around babies since my own siblings were born. I was WAY too young to appreciate all that went into them being raised - so now I'm asking questions and seeking advice. It's been good fun comparing ante and post natal treatment.  Fun in the sense that I enjoy the horrified looks!

Another thing to look forward to this week is the Hen weekend for my friend, Gemma!  I can't reveal any details because it's all a big surprise, but I am *super* excited for the festivities!  Gemma was one of my first friends here in the UK and at my hen do managed to persuade me to dress up like a chicken. Good thing she was willing to put that chicken mask on so I didn't look like such a pratt! 

The tables have turned, Miss Coombs. 

In other good news, the weather is turning - spring has sprung, the sun is out (sometimes) and everything is in bloom!  Just think - ten weeks and we should have a little McBerry to enjoy the glorious British summer!  Happy Spring and a very happy week to everyone!

Xx